I'm gonna try not to drip feed but also this is obviously pretty brief (for a life story).
My DM and DF split when I was very young. I've lived with them both at different times but have been on my own since I was 16. 9 years later I now have DP, DD(3yrs) and over 8 months pregnant with DS. They were both shit parents. Both alcoholics, both emotionally and sometimes physically abusive. But more so DM due to MH issues. I have a younger Dsis with the same DM/DF.
When I was pregnant with DD my great-grandmother died and she was my closest relative. DF made it an "all about him" nightmare. Even booked the funeral on my 21st birthday and told my older Dsis (not his) she couldn't come incase she upset him! Anyway his following harassment and behaviour drove me to go totally NC. I even moved home so he didn't know where I lived (he would turn up).
3 years later and I've built certain bridges with DM and felt it was time to let DF into our lives as DD is his only grandchild. This was before I was pregnant, we visited once a month and text once a week it was going really well.
I'm due DS in a couple week and it's the only boy in his family except him (his dad recently passed) and I'm worried his behaviour is becoming unacceptable again but he won't take the hint. I'd hate to go back NC after all this but I'm feeling under a lot of pressure. I'm practically bedridden and my house has absolutely zero signal, I can't receive a text unless I leave the house.... And I made this very clear on several occasions. Yet whenever I come into signal I have so many messages like "what's up?", "have I done something?", "you've stopped keeping in touch again", "you need to let us know what's happening", etc. I also have several off his wife and mother (who I get along with) that I'm sure they were nagged into sending His "harassment" is always disguised as him simply caring. But they are always "you have done this". Always accusatory. I know from the past it's all quite selfish motives, even though I've asked for some space while I'm so heavily pregnant he would still turn up at my front door to find out "what's up" with no regard to the stress I'd be under and would refuse to leave without a "valid" excuse.
Am I overreacting due to past damage? Or would you expect, that if you told someone you couldn't contact for a while that they wouldn't send endless messages?
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Feels like DF harasses me
10 replies
WalkingBlind · 04/02/2016 14:25
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