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Would you get a tattoo that your partner really hated?

(74 Posts)
juicychops Wed 03-Feb-16 18:18:57

I have 3 tattoos from before my partner. I love them he hates them but obviously can't do anything about them.

I have wanted a tattoo on the side of my ribs for a few years now and have recently decided I want it of a bird. Its quite big. He hates the thought and has said if I get it done he will think differently of me.

whilst he cant physically stop me getting it done as its obviously my body, it kind of takes the fun out of it knowing he will hate it. I'm sure if I got it done anyway he would learn to tolerate it like the others, but part of me would feel a bit bad getting it done and I know he would be mega annoyed for 'ruining my body'

would you get it done or not?

charlottexox Wed 03-Feb-16 18:22:07

Yes, I have gotten several tattoos that my partner doesn't like. I have a full right arm sleeve of the sex pistols wink and he isn't keen on them, but I adore them.
I don't think he would think differently of you, he loves you!
If you feel like it is something you want, then don't let him change your mind... it is your body after all wink and don't worry, I can almost guarantee after a while he will get used to it, and not think twice about it. smile

CheersMedea Wed 03-Feb-16 18:25:12

Depends how much you want to stay with him.

Whether you like it or not, physical attraction is just that - physical. What you look like does affect how attracted someone is to you. While we'd all like to live in a perfect world of "BUT IF HE REALLY LOVED ME then ...." it's not real when it comes to physical attraction.

So I would say don't do it if he matter to you because it may be a big turn off for him. Also if he really objects, it's a fine balance with being disrespectful of his views.

It's not irrational to hate tattoos. My own view is that tattoos are pretty grotesque and chavvy (especially big ones) and they really don't age well. No one wants to see a wrinkly faded tattoo.

TheGirlWhoWasntThere Wed 03-Feb-16 18:25:16

Absolutely, yes.
Its my body, my skin, my art.

FoxyLaRoxy Wed 03-Feb-16 18:31:53

I recently got a couple of new tattoos. When I mentioned to DH about getting them, he said "No, definitely not."

I politely pointed out to him that I would do what I wanted as it was choice to do this to my body not his. I may have mentioned the suffragettes, the rights of women. He totally agreed with after I put my point across but he still doesn't like them grin

StillDrSethHazlittMD Wed 03-Feb-16 18:36:25

Your body, your skin, absolutely. You can do what you like.

Similarly, your partner can choose to leave if he finds your tattoos unattractive. He can do what he likes too.

As medea said there is physical attraction as well as love. As long as you're prepared for the possibility he may no longer find you as attractive and that that could impact your relationship, totally your call.

juicychops Wed 03-Feb-16 18:37:46

ha ha I don't think women's rights will sway the situation in my case! smile

I wish I had just gone out and got it done without asking him what his opinion was. I have always known he dislikes tattoos but didn't realise how much until I planned this one!

maybe I could shift the attention by subtly pointing out that I really dislike the extra 4 stone of weight he has around his belly and see where that gets me!?

Talcumsoul Wed 03-Feb-16 18:38:35

Your body, your choice: however I do not find tattoos attractive. If my partner got them knowing it was not to my liking it just may dull the shine on our relationship.

Talcumsoul Wed 03-Feb-16 18:39:28

(Fair point well made about his weight gain)

Hassled Wed 03-Feb-16 18:40:09

I wouldn't, but then I'm old and have no tattoos (so quite why I'm answering I have no idea, now I think about it). I just can't imagine knowingly doing something which my partner would find unattractive.

If DH decided a pink mohican was his hairstyle of choice, obviously that would be his right. But if he did it knowing I hated it and just not caring, that would indicate a lack of respect, a not-giving-a-shit about my feelings which I'd hate. So I'd never do the same to him.

VoldysGoneMouldy Wed 03-Feb-16 18:44:45

I got a tattoo done last year knowing DH doesn't like them. He came home from work, and I showed him. He rolled his eyes, and then we carried on as normal. He'd never tell me what to do with my body. We did talk about it in advance, and I knew he wasn't keen on it, but was my choice.

If he'd have told me he'd think differently of me for a choice regarding my body, I'd have told him to get to fuck.

juicychops Wed 03-Feb-16 18:47:29

that's why I haven't got it done before now I think, because I don't want him to think I don't care about his opinion when he feels quite passionately. but then the other half of me thinks I'm 31, I want to get it done while I'm young enough to still enjoy it and not look back in 15 years and regret not getting it done when I desperately wanted to. sad

So hard!

why cant he just like tattoos like me grin

Marilynsbigsister Wed 03-Feb-16 19:04:48

If my husband did something to his body that he knew i found deeply unattractive. (For me this would be a tattoo) I would be beyond mightily pissed off, because he would have had a choice NOT to do it. By doing it he is saying I don't care about your feelings. - depends where it was, but honestly I would be so hacked off about it, I may leave.

Marilynsbigsister Wed 03-Feb-16 19:05:53

Don't forget, when you are 87yrs old, your care assistant will be washing your tattoo

CheersMedea Wed 03-Feb-16 19:38:03

>>>I really dislike the extra 4 stone of weight he has around his belly and see where that gets me!?

It's not quite the same because he can go on a diet and actually some weight gain over a lifetime is expected and anticipated. Removing a large tattoo isn't a simple as a diet and new large tattoos aren't normally expected.

If he gained 4 stone since he met you though and you find it a turn off, it is a valid point - but it doesn't make it a good reason for you to get a tattoo though.

BramblePie Wed 03-Feb-16 19:51:30

I'd deffo get it. He's trying to control you to not get it. I was like this. I grew up with my parents telling me how awful tattoos are and I'd be thrown out if I ever got one etc etc. I got a be and he would say he was gona get a tattoo. I said I'd dump him. I didn't even know why! Just that they were "bad". Secretly I was jealous. I think your partner is jealous. I ended up getting a tattoo and I'm thinking about a 2nd smile if you want it, you get it! Ps I also want a bird. A hummingbird smile

BramblePie Wed 03-Feb-16 19:55:00

Wow Marilynsbigsister That's so selfish if you'd leave your husband over a tattoo! Its his body ffs! What a load of crap. And who cares if her care assistant would be washing it when she's old. The care assistant will prob have them too :D

Joysmum Wed 03-Feb-16 20:15:21

I wouldn't want to kiss, caress and make love to a picture I don't find attractive. So I'd not cover a significant part of my body with something off putting that he'd have to try to ignore to see me.

Of course it's your body and you can do what you want but surely it's not hard to see it from his point of view?

peggyundercrackers Wed 03-Feb-16 20:27:39

It's all about Respect for me. This board is full of threads that speak about respecting each other - by going ahead with it knowing he doesn't like it your not really respecting his feelings. Once you have it why should he show you any respect if you don't respect him?

Personally I don't like tattoos at all and don't get why people want a drawing on their arm/leg/back/stomach.

BlondeOnATreadmill Wed 03-Feb-16 20:36:34

I wouldn't do it, given the circs you describe. However, I do get that this must be frustrating for you.

It's a good point you make about his belly though. 4 stone is a ton of weight to put on!

Personally, I think women make themselves look trashy when they get tattoos. You're not a lady anymore, iyswim. Old fashioned view, I do know that. My DD wants one soon. She's almost 18. Nothing I can do. But I am against it.

On the other hand, I do like tattoos on men.

Startingout2015 Wed 03-Feb-16 20:55:31

My stbxh hated tattoos.

I loved them.

He told me he would leave me if u got a tattoo.

I got one the next week and he didn't leave me.

That was 10 years ago.

He didn't mind after I got it !

VoldysGoneMouldy Wed 03-Feb-16 21:02:44

"Personally, I think women make themselves look trashy when they get tattoos. You're not a lady anymore" - the 1950s called, Blonde, they want their views back.

BramblePie Wed 03-Feb-16 22:06:55

peggyundercrackers

It's all about Respect for me. This board is full of threads that speak about respecting each other - by going ahead with it knowing he doesn't like it your not really respecting his feelings. Once you have it why should he show you any respect if you don't respect him?
OR he could respect it's her wish, her body and her decision...

U2HasTheEdge Wed 03-Feb-16 22:18:10

I wouldn't no.

Yes, it's my body and my choice but I don't particularly want to put anything on it my dh would find unattractive.

I have lots of tats and I'm sure not all of them are to his tastes so for him to tell me he really hated a tattoo I wanted would mean he really hated it and as he isn't the kind of person to ask me to change my appearance to please him I know it would mean it's a big deal to him for him to mention it.

I wouldn't much like it if he got a tattoo I really hated. Sure, it's his choice but I would wonder why he would get something I really hated and found a turn off.

U2HasTheEdge Wed 03-Feb-16 22:22:11

Don't forget, when you are 87yrs old, your care assistant will be washing your tattoo

And we love seeing them and getting the story behind them smile

Personally, I think women make themselves look trashy when they get tattoos. You're not a lady anymore

Well fuck me. I'm not a lady sad I'm also trashy. Well, thanks I guess, just as well I think people like you are so ignorant that I couldn't possibly value their opinion.

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