How does it work in your house?
We both work full time - but I run my own small (very busy) business and work from home. This creates a huge imbalance. Because I am here, I seem to naturally do more. Much much more. This is my working environment. I find it hard to focus when balls of dog hair are drifting about, or I can't get to the kitchen tap to fill the kettle because of all the dishes. I could leave some of the chores. I don't.
However.
My partner says he does as much as he can but he's Out Of The House All Day. He doesn't do as much as he can though, because he values his relaxation time and personal space. He will do anything I ask, but if I don't ask, he won't do it. He will come home and relax.
So as it stands, he cooks an evening meal 2 nights a week and clears up after dinner most evenings.
I do the rest of the cooking, all washing/drying/ironing/putting away, hoovering, mopping, empty the dishwasher in the morning, take stuff out to recycling, put the bins out, feeding, cleaning and exercising the (many) animals, sort out the online food shop and put it away, pick up the bits we need in the week from the shop, tidy, change the beds, change the towels, do homework, put boy to bed, get him up and out ready for school, take him to school and collect him, deal with all the school admin/fucking dress up days etc... Basically, everything else. All the doing takes ages - but it's not that. I feel solely responsible for the house. I can ask him, and he will do, but then I have to think to ask, and there's just so much to think about on top of running a Limited Company.
This is about the only thing we argue about. We are due to try and have a sensible discussion about it. We've only recently moved in together. Previously he lived alone - as he has for most of his adult life - and cooked/cleaned/washed etc. I know he can do it. My son isn't his, so some of the parenting-type chores will naturally migrate. But I think we need some clarity around Roles and Responsibilities (ha!). I am not a house elf and I don't want to be responsible for everything. It was OK when I was on my own. There was no-one else to do it. Doing it now while a grown adult watches. No.
So how does it all work in your relationship?
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Relationships
Division of labour
CauliflowerBalti · 02/02/2016 16:09
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