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Can I report

(44 Posts)
Earlymorningworrier Tue 02-Feb-16 07:19:33

Hi,

I was having an argument with my ex partner about things to do with our child in a public place. He started raising his voice and getting aggressive so I tried to back away and asked him to go but he insisted on following me. I'm not proud but I then attempted to push him away from me because I panicked and he dragged me to the ground by my hair.

Would I be able to, and indeed should I report him for assault? It's not the first time he's intentionally hurt me but I feel like I provoked it.

It's also now been a few days since it happened so I'm worried the police might think I was making it up.

Mandatorymongoose Tue 02-Feb-16 07:36:47

If it was in public might there be cctv? Or any witnesses?

Either way, of course you can report it. You attempting to push him doesn't mean he's allowed to assault you, he wasn't just using reasonable and proportionate force to escape or anything, he was just assaulting you, out of anger. He could report you in turn for pushing him though.

Littleelffriend Tue 02-Feb-16 07:39:41

You will both get charged with assault

Nottodaythankyouorever Tue 02-Feb-16 07:40:18

He could just as easily report you. Not that that is excusing his behaviour.

Neither of you have covered yourself in glory.

MoominPie22 Tue 02-Feb-16 07:48:35

I think you need an injunction! shock I wouldn´t want him anywhere near me if he can´t control his temper and is violent.

Bubblesinthesummer Tue 02-Feb-16 07:54:47

I think you both have anger issues. Neither of you behaved well. You report him he could very well report you.

You should stay away from each other. Your relationship sounds toxic.

Goingtobeawesome Tue 02-Feb-16 07:56:07

Pushing someone away who is intimidating you is assault?

hmm

CocktailQueen Tue 02-Feb-16 07:58:36

Yes, I think I would report it. Did anyone else see or intervene? Why would the police think you were making it up?

Even if you tried to push him away, that's no excuse to drag you to he ground by your hair!!

JellyTotCat Tue 02-Feb-16 08:00:39

I'm not surprised you panicked and tried to push him away if he is the sort of person who would drag you to the ground by your hair, especially after he was getting aggressive, raising his voice and following you after you were backing away and asking him to go. You probably panicked because you knew what was coming.

Notasinglefuckwasgiven Tue 02-Feb-16 08:01:27

Isn't pushing someone away reasonable force to protect yourself? During a beating from my ex I scratched his face hard to scar his cheek and told the police this as part of my statement. They said irrelevant I wouldn't be charged because I was defending myself from a larger assailant.

Shutthatdoor Tue 02-Feb-16 08:01:56

I don't think the police would think you were making it up, however they will say it wasn't all one sided.

Bubblesinthesummer Tue 02-Feb-16 08:04:14

During a beating from my ex I scratched his face hard to scar his cheek and told the police this as part of my statement. They said irrelevant I wouldn't be charged because I was defending myself from a larger assailant.

So going by that then no woman should ever be charged for violence against a man as they tend to be 'larger'

So glad the place didn't take that stance when my DBro was nearly killed by his exW!

Shutthatdoor Tue 02-Feb-16 08:04:52

*not sating what he did was right obviously

PosieReturningParker Tue 02-Feb-16 08:07:21

Pushing someone away who is following you is provocation, his response was not reasonable.

I would go and chat to the police.

PosieReturningParker Tue 02-Feb-16 08:08:36

Shocking posts that blame you or talk about your anger issues. Ignore them. shockhmm

LazyDaysAndTuesdays Tue 02-Feb-16 08:10:11

Pushing someone away who is following you is provocation, his response was not reasonable.

Which means both behaved badly.

DrMorbius Tue 02-Feb-16 08:16:55

Firstly Op in future write your posts as if your ExP was going to read it out in court (I.e don't incriminate yourself).

That said your post is just OK. Fact preemptive action is perfectly legal. If you believe you are in danger (as in you are likely to be assaulted) you can take "reasonable" offensive action. Pushing someone who you believe is about to assault you will not get you charged. Especially if you have tried walking away first. You just need to convince the police that you had reasonable fear. Which you did because your ExP's subsequent actions justified your actions. It would also help your cause if you have the previous times he used violence, corroborated.

Incidentally your ExP will find it hard to justify his actions as a response to your actions. I.e you tried to back away, he followed. He will find it hard to convince the police that a push from a woman he was pursuing, justified dragging the woman to the ground by the hair.

Lastly the police are used to this type of thing. Report him.

HumptyDumptyHadaHardTime Tue 02-Feb-16 08:18:56

Shocking posts that blame you

No one has 'blamed' the OP. Don't exaggerate.

Most have said what the ex did was wrong and can not be excused.

OP can you communicate with your ex over email about DC or get a 'contact' phone so that you don't have to actually see each other?

OhShutUpThomas Tue 02-Feb-16 08:21:28

Good Lord.

Can't believe the victim blaming in the early replies shock

OP it is perfectly acceptable to try to push someone away who is following you and intimidating you. It's a defensive movement.

You will not be charged with assault; nor does it indicate that you have 'anger issues' hmm

It would be perfectly reasonable for you to report this.

Bubblesinthesummer Tue 02-Feb-16 08:25:02

OP were the DC there at the time? Did they witress what happened?

Maybe call 101 and see what they say?

Oswin Tue 02-Feb-16 08:25:42

Ohshutupthomas, I agree with you.
The replies to this thread have been shocking.
She was trying to get him away from her. A man who has previously hurt her.

Notasinglefuckwasgiven Tue 02-Feb-16 08:25:54

I should have said he was strangling me at the time so yes, my actions on being choked by someone 4 stone heavier than me who was lying on top of me were justified in the eyes of the law. Should have put that in but it seemed to long.

Nottodaythankyouorever Tue 02-Feb-16 08:27:23

OP I apologise if my post came accross as blaming you. I wasn't.

Did you report past incidents or not?

Bubblesinthesummer Tue 02-Feb-16 08:30:34

I should have said he was strangling me at the time so yes, my actions on being choked by someone 4 stone heavier than me who was lying on top of me were justified in the eyes of the law. Should have put that in but it seemed to long.

That's ok. Sorry that that happened to you. flowers

It just hit a bit of a nerve at the thought that people in my DBro position might not be believed or taken seriously as they are 'larger" iyswim.

Notasinglefuckwasgiven Tue 02-Feb-16 08:31:18

I don't think they meant that no woman should be charged because men are bigger either, nor did I say that or anyone say that. It's about self defence. Your actions are measured against the threat. My life could well have been in danger so me leaving a tiny white scat on his cheek? Justified in the eyes of the law.

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