Husband's flatulence problems

[wingpurple]

My husband's flatulence problems are really starting to affect our relationship. Now before you think this is a a troll, i forgot my email after so long of not coming on. Am a long term user. This is a genuine issue.

He does it when I'm eating and puts me off my food. He doesn't try to hide it in anyone's presence and it's so bad that it seems to soak into the bed linen and his clothes. I have to change the bed sheets up to 3 times a week which I think is excessive. I have encouraged him to go to the doctors but he refuses to think that there might be something wrong. I am thinking he may have IBS or something similar.

He tries to pass it off on his diet but we eat the same things and I'm pregnant and I do not pass wind on his level. It has actually made me vomit on several occasions. I have even taken to sleeping on the sofa some nights because the stench is that bad.

Now here's the interesting part. Some may say that he is being immature and should control it like everyone else does. I agree but I think it comes from his childhood. I have noticed that MIL is also the same. She loudly passes wind in front of visitors, in public, when people are eating and doesn't apologise. She thinks it's hilarious and normal (she's 50 with good health). So DH has never been taught that it isn't normal and it's actually quite rude and disgusting. I'm not his mother so I can't 're-teach' him that what he's doing isn't notmal. I can't physically force him to go to the doctors either.

I feel that if it continues I may have to leave him. I really wish his mother had done a better job of raising him.

[OnceAMeerNotAlwaysAMeer]

childhood example or not, it doesn't matter. Either he changes it or it's unliveable-with.

btw his mother might have given him a bad example but he's all grown up now and he can bloody well see that other people find it ewwww.

[Namechanger2015]

As he is an adult now it's really down to him to 'retrain' himself, it's gone beyond the point of his mother being responsible. My ExH was similar, to the point of going for a poo when me and DDs were brushing our teeth, doing smelly farts and laughing about it. I found it extremely disrespectful of him to inflict his bodily odours onto the rest of us when he knew how it made me feel.

If your H won't stop, are there bigger factors at play? Is he embarrassed or stubborn or just disrespectful with it?

[ABetaDad1]

Is he ill in any way?

There are conditions like lactose intolerance can be genetic and if his mother is the same it could be that he has inherited it from her.

I know you are focussing on the issue in your relationship but you should tell him that he may be ill. There are real medical reasons why this can be happening.

I am gluten and lactose intolerant and I know for a fact this happens if I eat dairy products containing lactose. There are many other conditions that can cause it.

He needs to go to the doctor because it is likely a health issue or food intolerance.

[Branleuse]

was it like this before you married him.

It probably IS his diet. Hes very likely to have an intolerance to something hes eating. He needs to find out what it is and stop eating those things

[patienceisvirtuous]

I couldn't be with someone like this...

[EthelMercaptan]

I agree with the possibility that it's something he's eating. Mushrooms have this effect on my dh, even mushroom soup! To my shame I'm not sure I quite believed him to begin with, honestly; I've never heard of a mushroom intolerance. But they really do a number on his guts.

[pocketsaviour]

What type of work does he do? Is he customer facing, does he work closely with colleagues, or is he out and about on his own?

[BertrandRussell]

Does he do it at work? When he's in the pub? In a restaurant?

If he was invited to a Royal Garden Party would he do it in front of the Queen?

[ImperialBlether]

How did a man like this from a family like this find someone to marry him?

[donajimena]

I couldn't put up with this pockets question is very relevant. If he is in a customer facing role or a job interview Id put money on it that he doesn't sit there and let rip in front of all and sundry. Gross

[IguanaTail]

He can use his sphincter muscle to hold it in surely. And yes doctor.... jeeez

[PushingThru]

"I really wish his mother had done a better job of raising him". Jeez, a disgusting pig of a man & you need to find a woman to blame.

[IguanaTail]

Well if his role model is trumping all day long and laughing her head off each time, it's hardly surprising he thinks it's fine. Did dad do the same? It's gross it really is.

[PushingThru]

Raw peppers give me wind & a chronic need to shit immediately; but I managed to isolate the cause & avoid it with no impact on others. He's selfish, simple as that.

[Whatdoidohelp]

Does he do it at work,with friends etc or just you/at home.

For me it would be close to a deal breaker especially if it has made you vomit. It's basic manners. Yes his mother may have taught him that it's funny and acceptable but I bet he will struggle to find anyone else who agrees with him.

[donajimena]

Cooked onions do it for me. Like push I avoid them.

[MaisieDotes]

Was he like this when you were first dating/ going out?

If not then he is capable of controlling it. I would see it as a total "fuck you" from him to me.

Running around changing sheets and things after him is not on IMO.

[mudandmayhem01]

My husband is gluten intolerant, had terrible farts when he ate gluten, he has good manners and used to try and go to the toilet or at least leave the room but the stench was foul. Change of diet and he is no trumpier than anyone else.

[MaisieDotes]

^ I mean- you having to change sheets etc.

[BadlyBehavedShoppingTrolley]

If he has alwYs done this in all sorts of company, at the dinner table etc then it's a mystery to me that you got past six dates, never mind married. You need to tell him straight it's disgusting and unacceptable and it needs to stop.

My partner has IBS and his wind could take the roof off the house, but he is in control of it and doesn't do it at I appropriate times. Also thankfully there isn't too much smell, just a lot of noise!

[FurryDogMother]

Does he drink red wine at all? Or eat a lot of eggs and/or cabbage/sprouts? Those are the culprits with me (something to do with sulphites, I think) - when not low carbing. If I cut the carbs, the..erm...gas...isn't an issue at all :)

Also - I get sick when people do smelly farts around me. I have warned people about this, but if they continue to make me heave, then I have been known to be sick on their shoes :) This usually reminds them not to fart around me!

[AlmaMartyr]

DH developed a problem like this and found it very embarrassing. He was very thoughtful about it not impacting on others and eventually sought help from the GP and it turns out he has IBS and needs to follow the FODMAP diet, avoiding certain sugars, to be OK. It is quite restrictive but not necessarily all encompassing and has solved the problem. I have to admit though that despite his embarrassment and awareness that it wasn't quite right, it took him an age to work up the courage to see the GP about it.

[ClarenceTheLion]

Disgusting. He should go on an elimination diet to find the culprit, but he won't will he?

[AlisonWunderland]

I suffer dreadfully from wind, despite trying various exclusion diets.

But I'm the one who suffers, I do my farting alone and in the loo.
Not at the dinner table.
Unless he's got a very lax arse, it's possible to hold them in when etiquette demands .

[RJnomore1]

Two issues

He's an ill mannered pig

And he may also have. Medical problem if it smells that bad.