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Confused

(16 Posts)
Xalyshiax Fri 29-Jan-16 23:00:44

Okay, so my partner and I have been together a long time, we have never been perfect and have always had hiccups however, it seems to be worse lately.
I have a feeling he is/has cheated on me, in fact, I am almost certain of it but since we have a child together and I am sadly, still deeply in love with him, I do not want to end the relationship.
I know I am stupid for letting him do this but I am lost without him and I'm not sure how I could cope without him...I was wondering if anyone has ever felt the same and if so, how they felt with it?

And maybe some suggestions on ways to take my mind off of the whole situation completely, thankyou.

AnyFucker Fri 29-Jan-16 23:10:12

A lobotomy ?

AnyFucker Fri 29-Jan-16 23:17:32

That wasn't very kind, I am sorry

Love, you don't have to live like this. You really would have to numb yourself wouldn't you ? In the 1950's when it was more common for women to stand by their cheating men, the "treatment" of choice was Mogadon. Tranquillise the fuck out of that self respect

Don't do it to yourself. No man is worth that.

elephantoverthehill Fri 29-Jan-16 23:22:58

I'm glad you replied again Anysmile OP I think by posting on here you are beginning to put your thoughts in order. Simply by writing it down helps to realise your situation and try to come to terms with it.

AnyFucker Fri 29-Jan-16 23:38:16

It was knee jerk, elephant.

What would enable me to stay in that situation ? Pretending it never happened ? Thinking that anyone was deserving of completely burying my own self respect ?Only having a large proportion of my brain removed would do that.

Not very kind of me though. My apologies.

Friendlystories Fri 29-Jan-16 23:44:12

Doubts and suspicion like this are like a cancer to your self esteem. You may well be able to keep them buried, hidden but all the time they will be eating away at your self respect. Is loving him really worth ending up hating yourself for putting up with it? How sure are you that he's cheated?

Claraoswald36 Fri 29-Jan-16 23:46:24

What makes you think he is cheating?

Xalyshiax Fri 29-Jan-16 23:52:58

Deleting everything messages, especially from girls he knows I don't like and he was home 3 hours late the other day with the excuse that he couldn't get hold of me, to let him in....when I asked to see the 'texts' he sent, there was none... Also, a couple of images I've seen of things..(not him but things revolving)

Claraoswald36 Fri 29-Jan-16 23:54:36

Ouch doesn't sound good sad

Akire Fri 29-Jan-16 23:57:58

You may well love him, but if he's messing around with other women he certainly dosnt love you back.

AnyFucker Sat 30-Jan-16 00:04:44

things revolving ?

Friendlystories Sat 30-Jan-16 00:15:53

I don't think you should be looking for ways to take your mind off this OP, you should be finding ways to garner your strength and improve your self esteem so you feel able to leave this relationship. How will you feel if you manage to push your doubts and feelings aside which will inevitably weaken your self esteem further and then he leaves you for someone else anyway? It's time to focus your energies on yourself and how you can build your strength and confidence to the point where you realise you're worth more than a man who can deceive and cheat on you. A good start might be to protect yourself financially, get paperwork in order and start working out how you would cope on a practical level if you left him. It might make you realise you could cope without him which would help you feel stronger and able to move past feeling hurt and onto feeling angry that he could do this to you. It will take time to get there though, don't be afraid to lean on us and anyone you can trust in RL in the meantime flowers

hownottofuckup Sat 30-Jan-16 00:24:23

Feel your pain OP. Am in a similar boat, no proof though. And this has been going on for years!
I don't know how to deal with it. I think I crave honesty from him. But we're going through couples counselling and I thought it was helping, but now not so much.
I would advise, cut him lose. But I haven't managed it myself!

Xalyshiax Sat 30-Jan-16 00:31:07

Things revolving- I found a note in my house, I immediately thought it was him but I asked him anyway and everyone else who had been round lately and they agreed it it wasn't them and so did he and then a couple of days later, I see a similar note on another girls social account which suggests it was from her and they slept together. Maybe not sexually but even still, it would be tragic,

Thankyou everybody else for the answers, they're helping me out in setting my mind a little

Gobbolino6 Sat 30-Jan-16 00:44:33

I felt like year's ago. I wouldn't have left. In the end, he left me. Best thing that ever happened to me, after the first few awful weeks

elephantoverthehill Sat 30-Jan-16 00:46:25

You seem to have now acknowledged the facts, now is the time to digest them and later come to a conclusion about where you are headed.

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