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Ex-husbands - can I just have a rant here please?

(9 Posts)
moonfacebaby Fri 29-Jan-16 16:50:10

Today I have had a barrage of "poor me's" as well as some choice language, because I had the temerity to tell him how our 10 year old was feeling about her weekends with her dad.

I gave him a heads up so he could discuss it with her & clear the air - she was feeling like his girlfriend (who was the ow) takes priority over her & that their weekends together have been spent preparing for his holiday with her. My DD has told me for quite some time that if he marries the girlfriend/has babies with her, she never wants to see him again.

I've always tried to put across a balanced view - grown ups need to do stuff at weekends as they're busy in the week, you get on with his girlfriend so them getting married wouldn't be a bad thing etc.

I was left shaking & on the verge of tears after several angry messages from exh - along the lines of my life is really difficult, I can't afford to buy a house as I'm supporting you & the kids, me & GF don't get enough time together etc.

To put a context on this, our divorce is finalised, I have a mescher order in place so he pays our mortgage for the next 14 years. He earns 100k a year & the GF will probably earn 25-35k. He has 2 weekends on with the kids, one off - this was agreed as he lives over 90 miles away, therefore no midweek stopovers & no help for me with school/nursery pick ups & drop offs. I teach 3 days a week & it's pretty full on. So, he has his kids for 6 days a month - I have them for the other 24+. He earns, in 6 weeks, what I earn in a year.

I chose not to respond to his messages as there is no point - he will never change. I personally think that the consequences of his actions (an affair when our youngest was 4 months old) are coming home to roost & he, quite frankly, needs a grow a set & accept where he is & his responsibilities.

I'm not really asking any questions - just needed to bloodywell tell someone or just vent.

With him, it's all "me,me,me" & the things he said & did with his affair, affected me deeply & profoundly. But I have moved on - picked myself up, dusted myself off & got on with my life. So, why can't he do the same?

He comes to pick the kids up tonight & im dreading seeing him. He did send an apology message but again, it was all about him.

Wanker angry

OurBlanche Fri 29-Jan-16 16:53:14

Vent received, heard, understood!

Wanker, indeed!

tornandhurt Fri 29-Jan-16 16:56:39

Smile sweetly, stay strong and be safe in the knowledge that its likely (although very unfortunate) your DCs will grow up to realise what a selfish tosser he is!

Good for you for doing so well x

Savagebeauty Fri 29-Jan-16 16:59:02

flowerswinecakechocolate

Mine has just said he doesn't ever plan having the dcs to stay with him. Ever. He is not their parent.
Yet he is giving me grief for planning to move away to a cheaper area.

PreAdvent13610 Fri 29-Jan-16 17:00:35

Congratulations on divorcing the selfish prat flowers

moonfacebaby Fri 29-Jan-16 19:27:49

You're all lovely smile.....

Strange that you should point out his selfishness - I was repeatedly accused of that as an excuse for his affair. Oh, & my 4 miscarriages & the depression I suffered after them.

The all time low was when he said, with utter venom "I wanted you to die" when I was under a general anaesthetic, having a CS with our DD. All because he didn't want to cope with my grief, if our DD had died. No consideration for how DD1 would have been traumatised by that.
What a self-absorbed knobhead he is, eh?

I'd quite like to shake the OW's hand & say thank-you & good luck - because she's going to need it.

On the plus side, I've had a Mojito & I'm off for more with my lovely, very selfless boyfriend grin

FellOutOfBedTwice Fri 29-Jan-16 19:34:55

Your children will realise what a prick he is and have no respect for him when they're adults. One of my closest friends has a Dad who sounds a lot like your ex and he has nothing to do with him now- he always says he was selfish and weak to have an affair and leave their mum and him and his sister and he only continued to be selfish and weak as the years went on.

HandyWoman Fri 29-Jan-16 19:38:53

Congrats on divorcing and utter wankbadger wine

Enjoy the peace, keep on with the great job you are doing with you life and your dd and ignore the cunt.

That OW has her work cut out - I salute you.

flowers

Kirk123 Fri 29-Jan-16 19:55:17

What a strong woman you are, karma is coming to him , cruel cruel selfish man , so glad you have a selfless boyfriend he's a lucky man ❤️

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