Hi
Please don't flame me, firstly I know I'm a terrible person for cheating but have few rlf to talk to and feeling so depressed.
I started an affair around Xmas. We were actual in contact for quite abit before then. I would defiantly describe it as being chased. He was very aware I was married and is in the middle of a divorce himself where he was the injured party and at first said he would never be with anyone married because of this.. But then would message me everyday and be conflicting to that in what he was saying. Eventually he admited he did like me and I him and we took things further. I wasn't sure what would come out of it and in the beginning I was defo the one being chased he messaged me everyday telling me I was perfect, that he couldn't stop thinking of me etc kept asking would I want to fight it etc in short he acted like he had really fallen for me.
Then we got caught out on a lie where we'd arranged to meet by my hubbie we we realised how risky we were being and and decided to try and call it off for the sake of my marriage. Until this point there had been no talk of it it was literally just the almost getting caught then we need to stop.
I found this incredibly difficult and missed him incredibly I hoped he would contact me but he remained true to his word and didn't although I text him a few times. 2 weeks after we had split I saw him online really late and was convinced he'd found someone else I watched all night until I couldn't take anymore and asked him to tell me if he had just so I could draw a line under it and block his number but he said not, we talked for hours and met up the next day and dtd. I figured things would go back to how they were before but it's been totally different, the next day he blew me off when he had a chance to see me which we don't normally get to watch tele! And he never texts me unless I text him and doesn't really put any effort into it or just stops when I'm in the middle of a conversation. When I see him we get on really well although obviously have to act like friends majority but via text which was where he used to be lovely to me he now speaks to me like shit or makes fun of me. It's a total turnaround to how it was before. Im paranoid jeleous, I've really fallen for him but this last week I feel like shit about myself like I'm risking everything for someone who sees me as a shag when he is bored I know I'm in the wrong here being married I know this but I'm so confused I've really fallen for him now but feel I'm becomming embarrassing for the time I'm texting him and being needy etc when it's no longer reciprocated in the same way. He didn't seen the type to use me and I've known him along time (years) and know he's lovely before this happened so why the change? I don't know what to do for the best, I know I need to stop messaging him but whenever I see him (daily) I seem to get drawn back in
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Relationships
in the midst of affair
Foolishnamechanger · 29/01/2016 08:26
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