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Can you grow to fancy someone?!

(4 Posts)
Needssomeadvice Wed 27-Jan-16 02:49:21

Hey guys, I would really appreciate some advice if possible!
So the background- I am 27 year old woman, my best friend is a man, a man whom I love dearly as my best friend. He has made no secret of the fact that he is in love with me since we met and despite me not feeing the same, still remains the most loyal person in my life. He is PERFECT for me in every way. He's a smart, funny, dependable, sweet doctor who has given me the first experience of unconditional love in my life. He would make the most wonderful and dedicated husband and father and I keep praying that I will fancy him back but I don't. We tried kissing a few months ago and I didn't really feel anything. I keep going on other dates with other people and discover over and over they aren't them an that he is. Having said all that about not feeling the same, I do get jealous when he says he might start looking to date other people. I know I need to make my mind up as its unfair to leave him hanging. Do you think you can grow to fancy someone? Please give me some words of advice!! 😊Xxx

PurpleDaisies Wed 27-Jan-16 03:07:05

No. If there's no spark you can' make it happen. Do you really want to spend the rest of up its life wondering if there was someone else out there for you who you really would have proper feelings for?

I think if you care about your friend as much as you say you do you really should stop kissing him and giving him false hope and move on.

PurpleDaisies Wed 27-Jan-16 03:07:27

*rest of your life

PeanutBusterToby Wed 27-Jan-16 03:29:18

I hope you don't take my answer as me trying to be nasty, I promise you, that's not the case.
But....you sound very selfish to me. You are stringing him along and seem to think you are being 'honest' with him because you have let him know how you feel about him....or should I say 'don't feel about him'.
I'll bet you have let him know you feel jealous when he goes on a date.
You say he is perfect in every way and once again, I'll bet you have told him this.
Yes...I think you are stringing him along. If you do meet someone who has all the 'sweet doctors' qualities and the looks you deem so important then you can cut the good doctor loose. Until then, keep informing him that you feel jealous when he tries to move on and find someone else he can fall in love with.
The answer, I think, is if you cannot bear to think of this man with anyone else then you must try having a proper and full relationship with him.
If you cannot bring yourself to do this then I believe you should take a step back from his life and allow him to find love elsewhere.
I really do wish you well.

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