I'm writing this whilst feeling absolutely fed up with the group dynamics at work. I started a role in a demanding, fast paced business environment around 3 years ago now. Straight away, I was a little shocked at how closely knit and unwelcoming most of my team were. None tried to get to know me and I really had to fight to be heard or noticed. I've seen 2 others come and go and still be treated in the same way. Both have acknowledged this was happening to thme too. I've since spoken to the main boss about this who tells me he is aware and is closely monitoring the situation.
Last year, I took 9 months off to have a baby, returned and it's much the same, just as expected. Only this time, I've stopped trying with this group of people. I get on with my job, speak civilly and go home to my DS at the end of the day. I wondered why it would be worth setting myself up for failure and inadequacy. Nobody openly noticed or asked how I was on returning to work within my team. Again, just no acknowledgement of a new member of staff'a existence.
Last week however, I started feeling really lonely at work, other 'teams' seem to work more inclusively together and I'm desperate for conversation! As it is such a demanding field, there isn't much time for mixing with other teams and I work through lunch break's to get home to DS earlier. Therefore, mixing with other teams isn't an option. I decided to 'try again' with my team, but again any attempts were met with ignorance, talking over me and no attempt to involve me in conversation whatsoever. I fact they spoke about what they had collaboratively been up to at the weekend. How do I contribute to that?
I've reverted back to isolation and I just feel completely deflated and sad that it has to be this way. I don't know how else I can make my work life a more pleasant experience whilst in the presence of these people?
Other teams are aware of my team''s cliquey-Ness as are management but nobody can really do much about it. I can't change teams because my expertise are in a very defined area. Changing jobs would be problematic as there aren't many jobs in my area within my field and I'm so close to DS' nursery, it SHOULD suit my family''s needs. I'm so miserable of being this social hermit though, and aside from this I enjoy my work. What is the answer? Going to work with these people just grates on my confidence and self worth every day. I so wish we were on friendlier terms but they aren't interested.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
work colleague clique
tomatapassata · 27/01/2016 01:20
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