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Anyone got any stories of reconciliation?

(52 Posts)
Heartbroken4 Sat 23-Jan-16 22:25:30

I have another thread going.

Last night my Husband officialy left and he told the children. Today they went away wih him for the w/e (he works away in the week and took some "time out" last w/e, so the had missed him). People have been told.

Does anyone know of people who got back together after things had got to such a stage?

Heartbroken4 Sat 23-Jan-16 23:22:11

Bump.

DontBuyANewMumCashmere Sat 23-Jan-16 23:30:55

I'm so sorry I've got nothing helpful to say. Didn't want to read and run. I suppose it all comes down to who broke it off, and why, and would both parties want to get back together.
I'm sorry you're going through this. flowers
Hopefully someone with some advice will be along now.

Heartbroken4 Sat 23-Jan-16 23:31:13

Please.

Heartbroken4 Sat 23-Jan-16 23:31:44

Thanks for answering.

DontBuyANewMumCashmere Sat 23-Jan-16 23:32:00

Are you on your own this w/e? Can you go to see family or friend so you're not alone?

Heartbroken4 Sat 23-Jan-16 23:50:47

Have had offers but am in bed.

Heartbroken4 Sat 23-Jan-16 23:51:40

Have slept on and off all day.

StrawberryMouse Sun 24-Jan-16 00:02:39

Bless you. This is the horrible bit and you will feel wretched for some time. But things will get better and you will feel ok again, no matter what else happens between you and your h. Just take care of yourself. Don't think about the heavy stuff if you can afford not to. Just do whatever it takes for you to feel on an even keel at the moment. flowers

Heartbroken4 Sun 24-Jan-16 00:12:58

It is going to be such hard work. I have been doing more than my share anyway, as he works away, but I have four children under 9. He is being like an Uncle, taking them to his Parents, where his Mum is picking up the slack.

Heartbroken4 Sun 24-Jan-16 14:16:26

Anything else?

Serenelight Sun 24-Jan-16 22:24:36

Sorry to hear that you are going through this. Could you put together a positive plan to work on getting stronger and to focus on you? For example a drop-in excercise class or meditation class that you could put in your diary for when the children are away. Also a plan to join a book club or meet up with some friends. This is very early days and it must be incredibly lonely.

CalleighDoodle Sun 24-Jan-16 22:26:34

I know of two. Husband left for a significant time, one two years one one year. Back together now. Seem ok.

Heartbroken4 Sun 24-Jan-16 22:37:16

I am having therapy which, though hard in some ways, is almost decadent, as it is focusing on me and I have clicked, in a professional way, with my therapist.

Heartbroken4 Sun 24-Jan-16 22:38:07

Calleigh how far down the legal line did they get?

Gobbolino6 Sun 24-Jan-16 22:42:48

My husband of 10 years and I split for 4 months and reconciled. He had been adamant he wanted a divorce. Our relationship is fine now but not perfect. I would be very wary of pinning your hopes on this, it's not common and it's not necessarily for the best. Just take things one day at a time for now. Don't bother trying to 'win him back', it's pointless and you deserve better than dancing to his tune. Take some time for yourself.

pieceofpurplesky Sun 24-Jan-16 23:01:04

I hoped to reconcile for about 18 months. I wanted my life back. Slowly I have rebuilt and I am stronger. I wouldn't want him back as he would still be s selfish prick and I couldn't forgive the lies he told other people about me to ensure he got their support. It's two years now.
I know two couples that got back together. One for a couple of years and she moved away with the kids and he had to really work to win them back. They seem really happy now. The other couple were apart for 3 years. For back together. He is still a dick and cheating on her but she lets him as she likes the superiority being married seems to bring her hmm

Heartbroken4 Sun 24-Jan-16 23:02:27

*Sigh

I didn't want him to go. I don't like him very much but I still love him. The children miss him.

I dunno.

CalleighDoodle Sun 24-Jan-16 23:05:00

Neither couple went to solicitors at all. Both lives separately, set up informal Custody agreements, maintenance payments, even dated.

Samaritan1 Sun 24-Jan-16 23:05:24

Did you try marriage counselling or would he agree to it now?

This is a very difficult time, though. Just concentrate on getting through the next few weeks and then reassess how you feel when things are not so raw.

CalleighDoodle Sun 24-Jan-16 23:06:11

Just realised one of my
Uninfriemds had the same. Husband had an affair. She found out. He left for several months. I cant wuite remember how long. He realised he fucked up and she let him
Back. Theyve seemed happy since but you dont know what goesnon behind closed doors.

CalleighDoodle Sun 24-Jan-16 23:06:30

'Uni friends'

mumndad37 Sun 24-Jan-16 23:14:25

I did this. Separated for 7 - 8 months, then let him come back as he begged so much and did pay attention to the Cs.... but it was never the same again and we split up later for good. Cs were relieved when we divorced.

Try to get your own life more, and don't even think about reconciling until you have to.... you will probably find you don't want to anymore.

Heartbroken4 Sun 24-Jan-16 23:22:08

We have been going to Relate but I don't think his heart was in it. Two weeks ago, he tried to leave but back-tracked and told the children he loved them more than anything in the world and didn't want to hurt them and promised to stay and that we would try and make it work.

Heartbroken4 Sun 24-Jan-16 23:23:05

How can I have a life, looking after four children under 9 for 12 days out of 14?

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