Hi everyone
I really hope someone may be able to offer me some advice but am conscious I may sound like I'm moaning . So sorry if I do- just HAVE to get this out of my system as it's driving me insane.
DH and I have been together 10 years married 3 and it's as if the more time goes on the less motivation he has. Don't get me wrong he is wonderfully kind and understanding - as an example he makes me lunch for work every day without fail and will often leave notes and sweet things around the house - it couldn't be lovelier. And that makes me feel very guilty for what I'm going to say... But here goes...
We work about 70 miles apart and live in the middle. Have decided we want to start a family this year so as we live in no man's land at the moment the decision was to move one way or the other- closer to his parents or closer to mine. And it has been especially tough because I am very family orientated and would miss my family terribly but he has 100% refused to look for another job, saying we can stay where we are (which we both hate) or go north closer to his work. So I have given in for the sake of our future children basically but despite the fact that he has won this one, his motivation is at an all time low😞.
He is extremely conscious of money and is now saying we won't sell our house for enough to even raise a deposit for another. I know he has decent savings but is unwilling to put these forward- which is fine as he has saved them but he makes me feel guilty for the fact that my salary and huge petrol bills do not really allow me to save! So everything is at a standstill. I wouldn't mind but he seems to have no fight at all or passion about anything. He has previously told me how much he wants to move to this new place and start trying for a baby but now every Answer is just 'I don't know' or I am completely ignored because he is playing on his phone.
Perhaps I'm guilty of being a dreamer so he is a good leveller but j think as we both have full time jobs and work hard, we should be allowed a holiday?! Even when I suggested one night at our favourite hotel he said he thought it was far too expensive but just 'book it of you want I don't care' hmmm!!
Sorry I know this sounds a complete whinge but it's really getting me down. Has he gone off me? I am trying desperately to build a future for us and our family but his attitude of take it as it comes is meaning we will still be sitting in the same place for years down the line. I don't want to go on at him but find myself becoming so frustrated I just want him to show some passion or excitement. Needless to say his attitude in the bedroom reflects his attitude to everything else- can't be arsed so our sex life is completely non existent and has been for longer than I can face writing on here. By the way I am pretty sure he's not depressed as I have even asked him and can just tell all seems fine in that respect.
I'm beginning to think it must be me. Would be so grateful for any advice girls.
Sorry and thanks in advance xxxxxxx
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At the end of my rope with DH- suggestions welcome! X
17 replies
Eeyore777 · 20/01/2016 08:08
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