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making a decision

(7 Posts)
moopulous Mon 18-Jan-16 21:43:07

Hey it's my first post but have been lurking for a while, but will get to the point just after advice/support. Have a 2 year old and a newborn when I was about 7 months pregnant found out partner had cheated several times 4 years ago, only about 3 months into our relationship but had been friends for about 4 years, we were 17. He told me after years of questions I just had a feeling didn't trust him, don't know why it mattered so much to me, although he hasn't done it since Im sure.
We are broken up at the moment but he still lives here helping with children ect but don't know whether stupid teenage mistake or a warning before its been 10+ years and he does it again, he's an alright dad pretty helpful, was happy with him before I found out, can understand why he lied but obviously very betrayed and upset that he watched me have 2 children felt no need to tell me then, he's trying to help more and all of that but can't see past it at the moment so it's not really helping, could i be over reacting? Also I now realise he tried to tell me at the time but changed his mind after my reaction to a partial truth, so what would you do? Any advice? thank you in advance smile

dadneedshelp72 Mon 18-Jan-16 22:29:21

only you can decide if your relationship means you can move past this together

moopulous Tue 19-Jan-16 00:21:55

Well yes it's up to me was just looking for other views or maybe if anyone had been in a similar situation, I've been agonising over it for months, never been good with big decisions, can be a bit of an over thinker haha

dadneedshelp72 Tue 19-Jan-16 11:26:03

What I mean is

Do you love him ?
Is your relationship good otherwise ?
Are you friends
do you confide in each other
talk to each other etc

moopulous Tue 19-Jan-16 17:26:10

Well its a yes to all those questions, was happy with him before this has just made me doubt everything, I mean even though broken up we are still good friends, I think its maybe just about rebuilding trust?
Maybe I'm searching for quick fixes when all this problem needs is time

thankyou for your replies I appreciate it

pocketsaviour Tue 19-Jan-16 17:28:41

If it was three months into the relationship, you were both 17 and it hasn't happened in the 4 years since, and he's been a good partner and dad, then I would personally want to let this go and move past it. Yes it will take time to rebuild the trust but I would personally choose to give him the chance to do that. Of course it is your life and your decision.

moopulous Thu 21-Jan-16 01:43:00

Thankyou, I feel the same I do want to, suppose I'm just scared of it happening again, but only rebuilding trust will help that. again I really appreciate the advice

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