Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Revenge

(23 Posts)
munkynutts Fri 15-Jan-16 11:23:32

Got cheated on. Considering revenge. I know it's better to show dignity etc etc, but...

Anyone gone down that path? Any good stories to share?

definitelybutter1 Fri 15-Jan-16 11:39:47

Are you a journalist?

pocketsaviour Fri 15-Jan-16 11:42:29

Bear in mind that a lot of "revenge" scenarios might quickly end with you being arrested or taken to small claims court. EG: destroying property, posting explicit photos to social media, nasty texts/emails/phone calls.

So you need to think very carefully because the last thing you want here is to actually make trouble for yourself.

goddessofsmallthings Fri 15-Jan-16 11:45:10

'Dignity' has nothing to do with revenge which will always be a dish best eaten cold and when it's cold you may find you have no appetite for it.

Why not share your story, or stories, of revenge with us? There must be something you want to crow about offload otherwise you wouldn't have started this thread.

CallieTorres Fri 15-Jan-16 11:45:15

surely google is your best place for this...?

i'll start you off

revengelady.com/top_ten_stories.html

www.reddit.com/r/prorevenge

www.wdish.com/life/break-revenge-17-truly-crazy-stories

HTH

heavens2betsy Fri 15-Jan-16 11:50:05

The best revenge is to move on and be happy.
Doing something horrible to get revenge always backfires. It shows him that you still care, that he still has the power to hurt you and make you crazy and gives him the perfect justification for leaving such a lunatic psycho, because that is how you will come across, however justified it feels and however people may laugh and say good for you, deep down they will be thinking "what a nutter"!
Rise above it, be dignified and move on to have a fabulous life without him.

hellsbellsmelons Fri 15-Jan-16 11:54:16

No not at all.
When I got cheated on it was horrible.
But I really didn't want to be with someone who wasn't happy with me.
So I wished him well and told him to go and have a nice life with the OW.
For me, Karma came to bite him on the arse so I didn't need to do anything else grin

Tomboyinatutu Fri 15-Jan-16 11:57:41

Revenge is pointless. Forgetting about the past and moving on is always the best thing to do. I accepted my ex was a cheater, finished the relationship, took a year out of the dating game to 'find myself' and didn't settle for the first guy that came along. Which worked out perfectly. I am now engaged to an amazing man with my third child on the way and most importantly, I am happy. That's all that matters, right?

heavens2betsy Fri 15-Jan-16 12:11:16

My ex left me for OW, left me penniless and devastated with a baby and a toddler.
After 5 years with OW he did the same to her (although they had no dc)
3 years later he did the very same thing to this OW.
Then followed a few years of internet dating and casual relationships and finally 3 years ago he settled down with yet another one.
Before Christmas he came to pick our (now teenage) kids up and has a coffee and said that he is unhappy and wants to leave her but doesn't know how but that there is this girl at work ..... bla bla
I smile because I'm happier than I ever would have been with him and he has made a very miserable life for himself.
That is better than any revenge I could have dished out all those years ago.

Pain1 Fri 15-Jan-16 12:19:42

My friend got massive revenge on a guy who she found out was married. Told his wife etc. Obviously she was upset and he was in the wrong but it wrecked his life.

PurpleDaisies Fri 15-Jan-16 12:21:04

Just don't. The only person who will end up hurting is you.

munkynutts Fri 15-Jan-16 12:54:49

Yeah maybe you're right and it's better just to try and move on. It makes you feel so angry though doesn't it, that the other person gets away with it uncaring and consequence free...

Bogeyface Fri 15-Jan-16 13:44:37

I did.

Got a quiet word from the police telling me that if I posted one of the naked pics she had sent him along with her phone number on a hook up site again then I would be in trouble.

Totally worth it.

RedMapleLeaf Fri 15-Jan-16 13:44:54

Revenge will just consume your thoughts and time and emotion. Every time you contemplate revenge ask yourself, "what am I not doing or thinking about whilst thinking about this?".

The nearest I got was fantasising about bumping in to him in a couple of years time, and obviously I'm living an amazingly happy life.

Gobbolino6 Fri 15-Jan-16 13:48:27

I felt like taking revenge when my first fiancé left me for one of my best friends years ago. I got over the urge. He did the same to her a couple of years down the line and she got back in touch wanting to offload about him and swap stories! I wished her well (to her face) but I wasn't up for renewing the friendship!

Gobbolino6 Fri 15-Jan-16 13:49:33

RedMaple, I read that as 'fantasising about bumping him off'...

RedRainRocks Fri 15-Jan-16 13:53:12

I seem to recall something about digging two graves before embarking on revenge....

RedMapleLeaf Fri 15-Jan-16 14:07:54

Ha! Gobbo, no none of them have been that awful!

Nabootique Fri 15-Jan-16 15:17:56

I think it depends on a couple of things. It depends what they have done. If someone cheats on you, then maybe. It also depends on what you have in mind. An ex of mine did something very, very shitty (did not cheat exactly - was a cumulation of shitty things, and this was the last straw). I knew something about him that another, official party (trying to be vague - sorry) would have been very interested in, and I passed the information on. I would not ever have destroyed property, etc., though. Not worth getting yourself in trouble.

ChristmasCabbage Fri 15-Jan-16 15:25:11

My best revenge was a few years ago when I bumped into twatty ex-P on my way to the gym.

I looked really good IMHO and took great pleasure in telling him that work was going well, I'd bought a lovely expensive house and was with a wonderful DH.

He, on the other hand, had put on about 5 stone and had a shit job. grin

SfaOkaySuperFurryAnimals Fri 15-Jan-16 16:23:53

Its a quick fix, I personally would hold dear to the Mora high ground, that's where the tea power is atsmile

Andthentherewasmum Fri 15-Jan-16 16:40:10

Just watch Kill Bill a lot grin

Disclaimer: not advocating you spend years learning to slice people into sushi!

OnceAMeerNotAlwaysAMeer Fri 15-Jan-16 19:53:59

going against the grain, occasionally you get so angry that you can't get any peace until you've actually done or said anything. Then done is done and you can move on.

Not suggesting anything criminal though.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now