Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

when you get used and end the relationship

(4 Posts)
lightsleeper1 Thu 14-Jan-16 20:30:13

can anyone please explain to me how when you treat someone like shit and they end it why are you so upset? could you not see it coming? did you know you were making them unhappy? or did you not care? or when finally they leave and tell you why they are leaving do you actually get it? I have left my boyfriend after 3 years of totally using me, he has watched me go through a super hard divorce and struggle financially and I mean struggle daily to feed the kids, let alone pay bills. until I got a job and then started using my car everyday when he had his own, using my house to do his washing and for food and warmth when he has his own house! Oh don't get me wrong he was amazing with the compliments and pulling chairs out, opening doors for me and the rest of it! Anyway the final straw came (at long last) when he left me on my own on Christmas day to go spend the day with his own kids. Not a phone call nothing and after 14 hours of playing happy families (with his kids not x wife) he came back to mine. I literally hit rock bottom, I cried a lot. anyway I went back to work and kept busy and decided I wanted out. I have told him before I knew he was using me and he came back with some excuse that he was paid rubbish and I know he earns around £30000 a year. I dumped him and now he's lost, he doesn't know what to do with himself. Well tough shit.......I know i'm going to get the whole sob story of how he loves me blah blah blah. I just cannot get my head around how he can't see that it's his own doing??

AnyFucker Thu 14-Jan-16 20:35:19

He is cryig with self pity because he has lost his soft landing

Don't be fooled. His tears are not for the loss of you but for what you can do for him

Never take him back

Anniegetyourgun Thu 14-Jan-16 21:27:37

It doesn't matter whether he can see it or not; he's still dumped. He probably does know though, he's just hoping you'll fall for the little boy lost act.

Lookatyourwatchnow Thu 14-Jan-16 21:34:03

Because he was getting his needs met, and now he isn't. Don't dwell on him, he has his own set of life skills and they will wildly differ to yours.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now