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So what the fuck happens now?

(5 Posts)
batshipcrazy Mon 11-Jan-16 18:48:21

I realise I keep babbling on here, but I have not a lot of real life support.

I went to see the solicitor today, I feel much more in control and more certain of what to do.

However, now DH knows that I went and has turned into a raging nasty piece of work all over again, threatening suicide, jacking in our business, refusing to earn any money so he doesn't have to pay me anything.. His life is over etc etc...
He has stormed out again to the pub, inspire of me saying that the kids are asking questions and we need to talk to them.

What the hell happens now?, he is not prepared to be reasonable. I don't have any money to fight him in court, which is the bottom line.

He wanted 50/50 of the kids, but solicitor advised as our daughter is disabled she needs stability at home with me, her primary carer and then we can arrange when he sees them, I mentioned this as he asked me what had been said and he went berserk and told me there is no way in hell that is happening, and he will see me in court, how dare I tell him he can't see the kids!!

Wtf? I didn't even say that, I don't want to limit contact, they just need a stable home... i am so tired of his shit, twisting everything I say..

Please please advise me from others in this situation, What else can I do.
He said he would rather go bankrupt than give me and the kids a penny.
What should my next move be?

12purpleapples Mon 11-Jan-16 19:59:21

He might settle if you give him time, I hear this kind of reaction isn't that unusual, I can't remember your other posts - is he usually a good father and prepared to put the children first?

pocketsaviour Mon 11-Jan-16 20:03:24

If he committed suicide that would actually be a big win for you as you'd automatically get all of his assets. <tongue in cheek just in case anyone thinks I'm quite that callous>

What's the housing situation? Is there equity? Or are you renting? Sorry I don't remember from your previous thread.

I recommend telling the DC on your own as it doesn't sound like he will be reasonable enough to give them a caring version that's suitable for them.

pocketsaviour Mon 11-Jan-16 20:09:14

I just went back to your previous thread and I see I predicted his behaviour uncannily accurately grin I hope that reassures you that it's part of an abuser's script and you're doing the right thing. Hundreds, probably thousands of women here on the MN board have been told the exact same thing by abusive ex's, but guess what, we're all still here, with our kids, with a roof over our heads and enough to eat, and in many cases very happily remarried to a decent fella.

Did you tell him about the solicitor you saw, or did he find out through spying on you?

mum2mum99 Mon 11-Jan-16 21:32:23

Familiar story. Ex EA. It seems he is showing his true colours. You need all the support you can get.

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