We have lived together for nearly two years in my house. My partner has two children of his own who are the same ages as mine are. My children are 8 and 10 and the little one has ASD and is quite hard work, although he is affectionate and sweet too.
My partner was/is pretty involved with his children, picking them up and taking them to school a few times a week and having access in their home all day on a Saturday. However, their mother has just moved them several hindered miles away so this can no longer happen.
We are planning to move to a bigger house so his kids can come here and stay at weekends and holidays and have their own rooms. This will mean selling my place, putting the equity down as a deposit and going halves on the rest of the mortgage.
This Christmas my partner was here with me, although he made it quite clear he was missing his children and felt Christmas was a bit pointless. He did say he enjoyed the day though and he visited his kids s few days after Xmas and stayed in a nearby hotel for the night. I do understand this is hard for him.
However, I still feel essentially like a single parent. My children's dad has them on a Saturday night but is otherwise not that involved - the bulk of the extra care comes form my mum who lives nearby, particularly with my ASD son. My Partner will watch the kids whilst I should out for an hour but that is about it - he says they have a dad.
It is a source of disappointment to me - he is not interested in being part of the family and yesterday said he may even opt out of next Christmas altogether if he doesn't have his kids here. I have been surprised by how angry that makes me feel and am not sure what to do with those feelings. He is effectively my boyfriend and not a stepdad to
My kids. Can I and should I accept this? We get on brilliantly and have fun but it makes me feel angry that it seems he feels under no obligation to help or be involved with my children. What to do?
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Relationships
My partner demonstrates no warmth towards my children
Wileycoyote · 04/01/2016 09:34
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