I have a husband and two lovely kids under 6. A full time well paid job, two houses (one here and one abroad) and what most would consider, at least materially, a nice life. I've worked hard for it and I am the main breadwinner and childcare r. About 5 years ago (one child in) I started losing weight for no reason. The doctors suspected cancer and I went for tests. Turned out to be a chronic but treatable condition. When I was at the hospital I bumped into a guy from work who was recovering from cancer. Husband couldn't make hospital as too busy with work. Went for coffee with guy (divorced 2 kids of his own same job etc) Started friendship. Nothing happened other than what people I think would say was an emotional affair. A few coffees, text messages, odd phone call. 3 years later (so 2 years ago) guy moved back to Australia. This seemed a tipping point. I was convinced I was in love. I nearly left DH to go after him - OM said don't - told DH - he said stay ... All in my head, try again etc. did try - had DD. cut off all contact with OM. Still thought about him a lot and missed him. Couldn't work out why I still thought about him. Read about emotional affairs, tried to rationalise it - was I bored? Was I making it all up in my head? Was I really going to leave everything and go to Australia? How could I do this to my DH? How would he cope? Why wasn't I happy? What was wrong with me? Even though he was on the other side of the world I changed jobs to get away from him (as we were in the same company). 6 months ago I bumped into him at an overseas event by accident. We went from no contact to me sleeping with him. It was good then it was awful. He left the next morning and couldn't really look at me. I came home. I got an STD. Serves me right of course so I just cried, took the drugs and recovered on my own. I've told no one this. I cut off all ties again. 6 months later I am still thinking about him. Why? I must have lost the plot. I haven't told my DH what happened. I know I probably should but I don't know what that would achieve? Should I get some counselling? Have I lost my mind? I realise of course that what I have done is awful but what do I do now?
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cardedlady ·
31/12/2015 15:14
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