I wanted to know if anyone could share any personal experience from being in one of those situations with someone you care about deeply but who is not interested, or even very scared of actually having a close and intimate relationship?
I have tried to be objective in my mind, because it feels to me like "if he he liked you enough he would just get over it" and I am not sure if that's true or not.
I have been with people who only wanted me for sex or who were seeing lots of women at once and he wasn't like that. It was almost like he wanted a "relationship" but without actually getting too close to me emotionally.
It felt really strange to live through. It wasn't like he was acting like a bad boyfriend in a lot of ways. Like he was always there for me to call for anything, he was really keen for me to be around his friends, he'd sleep over all night and stay the next day and he'd plan nice trips and we'd have fun.
It was just that he wouldn't let me close to him. He was always pulling me closer and then pushing me away. He would sometimes be very disconnected and aloof and he would say silly things about being sure I would reject him eventually.
He started talking nonsense about our relationship being temporary and it just made me feel awful, so I have been a smart girl and ended the relationship and no longer see him.
I mean, I know he needs time or therapy or a labotomy but I wish I could shake that awful feeling that he just didn't like me enough to get close to me or that something was lacking in me and it's such a horrible feeling.
I talked to my counsellor about it and she says he is a classic commitment phobe and that people like that want intimacy and to be close to someone but they are ultimately going to run in the other dirction when things get serious.
Does anyone think that is true? Or is it just bollocks and any man will settle down for the right girl?
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Relationships
Getting over the hurt of a commitment phobe
12 replies
BlueBetty · 27/12/2015 23:53
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