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OLD Mr frigid has got the hump with me

(126 Posts)
junglejane111 Sun 27-Dec-15 21:04:58

Had 8, yes 8 dates with a chap, who after all that time, couldn't bring himself to even hold my hand let alone put an arm around me - or horror of horrors - actually kiss me. After I delicately kissed him on the cheek, he turned to me & said 'I'm not ready for this'. So I quite rightly called it a day & said 'this isn't working out for me but (being polite) you're a lovely chap & I'd like to stay friends'. I got this response:

"Amazing how fine a line it is when a woman is seriously keen on a guy one minute , and then shelves him the next- when she doesn't get what she wants".

I feel sorry for him. But really, to not even be able to hold hands after 8 dates? I felt more like a sister/mother than a girlfriend. Tell me I'm normal.

TokenGinger Sun 27-Dec-15 21:09:46

You are normal.

Avoid!!

SoleSource Sun 27-Dec-15 21:10:07

You are normal but so is he. It is normal to make a decision about when we become intimate. Very frustrating though. ☺

YouBastardSockBalls Sun 27-Dec-15 21:11:55

Crikey imagine if this was a man talking about a woman!

He is perfectly within his rights to take physical intimacy at whatever pace he feels right. As are you.

It's seriously not nice though to then slag him off online as 'Mr Frigid.'

You're obviously not suited. Just move on. Poor bloke.

ImperialBlether Sun 27-Dec-15 21:12:15

I think you should write to him and tell him exactly what you said here. Who wants a relationship where you feel like his mum?

junglejane111 Sun 27-Dec-15 21:12:36

If I then told you he smoked like a chimney, drank like a fish & dabbled in dope you'd possibly box my ears for not running for the hills by date 3.

TokenGinger Sun 27-Dec-15 21:13:03

I hardly think it's "poor bloke". She hasn't been vile or nasty to him.

She clearly just does not feel it's for her and I think the majority of people would feel somewhat rejected after 8 dates of no handholding.

JohnLuther Sun 27-Dec-15 21:13:06

Poor bloke, it's entirely up to him if he doesn't want physical contact.

hesterton Sun 27-Dec-15 21:13:51

Not you not you not you not you

GloriaHotcakes Sun 27-Dec-15 21:13:53

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

YouBastardSockBalls Sun 27-Dec-15 21:14:25

'Write to him and tell him what you've said here!?'

shock

hesterton Sun 27-Dec-15 21:15:02

John but he is sniping at her kind and gentle rejection. He has every right not to touch anyone but she has every right to want a relationship where touching is involved.

junglejane111 Sun 27-Dec-15 21:15:05

& we won't mention the time I was frog-marched to a cashpoint! I did like him though, he was a nice person underneath, it was just never going to work. I want normality.

MissApple Sun 27-Dec-15 21:17:26

lucky escape love!

SoleSource Sun 27-Dec-15 21:17:45

Not good enough for you. You did the right thing. I hope the next guy is what you want.

ImperialBlether Sun 27-Dec-15 21:18:31

YouBastard, I meant she should say this to him: "But really, to not even be able to hold hands after 8 dates? I felt more like a sister/mother than a girlfriend."

No idea why you have a gobsmacked face!

junglejane111 Sun 27-Dec-15 21:18:32

Who goes OLD but then doesn't want what dating brings? Handholding/arm-in-arm/kissing or sex?

BrendaandEddie Sun 27-Dec-15 21:19:17

you dont date if you dont want to HOLD HANDS fgs

what planet are you all on?!!

BackInTheRealWorld Sun 27-Dec-15 21:19:30

So you weren't suited. It happens. Next.
I'll not join in your desperate need for us to slag him off sorry, he just wasn't right for you and you weren't right for him. That's ok you know.

Supermanspants Sun 27-Dec-15 21:20:01

Run and don't ever look back
These sort of responses are becoming so over used and boringly predictable hmm

Op.... you are well within your rights to end things with this man ..... of course you are. It seems very odd that after 8 dates he is not keen to even hold your hand or kiss you. Clearly you are incompatible and I would have done the same but probably by the 4th date smile

Fugghetaboutit Sun 27-Dec-15 21:20:11

What happened with the atm?

fishfingersinmysandwiches Sun 27-Dec-15 21:21:38

Yeah it's up to him if he doesn't want physical contact.

But it's also up to her if she doesn't want to date someone who doesn't want physical contact!

As a red-blooded, adult woman I also would be put off by a man who didn't seem interested in me physically after eight dates. I think a lot of us would. I also think a lot of men would feel the same were the situation reversed. In which case it would be fine for them to not continue dating the woman.

I'd bet my bottom dollar the poor bloke is suffering from some kind of ED issue and is terrified, mind.

I'd imagine quite a few people junglejane

I find this thread quite sad. Pathetic actually. If it was the other way round and it was a female not ready for physical contact, the op (being male) would be called everything under the sun.

How about respecting other people and realising not everyone is the same as you? It doesn't make them 'frigid' either. People have different standards,beliefs and ways. They are entitled to them.

Oh and as far as I'm concerned dating doesn't involve sex either ;)

junglejane111 Sun 27-Dec-15 21:22:51

Fugge he wanted me to withdraw cash (I never carry any) to give him so he could pay for our evening out.

BrendaandEddie Sun 27-Dec-15 21:23:42

WHY would you date and not want physical contact?!!

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