Background: (obviously brief! I could say a lot more, but here are the essentials) Ex and I split up when DS was 3 months, he's now 7. I left, due to DA. He pays CSA (and resents it hugely), but hasn't seen DS for years. He has never turned up to family court to discuss contact. I only have an email address for him, and he only sends emails if I've sent an update first. He sends a birthday card (often late), but never presents. I've tried to promote contact with DS's paternal family, but struggled to engage them, too, except ex's mother, but even she hasn't seen him for years.
On Christmas day, he sent this: "A happy Christmas to [DS].
Due to a number of a family tragedies this year I am not celebrating Christmas nor is my what remains of my family.
No gifts no cards have been sent to anyone.
Please do not respond to this email and keep your thoughts to yourself"
I did a quick google, and it appears ex sadly lost his father in February. Ex also has an older DS in his mid-late teens, very much alive.
This email has ruminated in my mind since Christmas day, I'm not sure why. Partly, I feel DS deserves better- I've had losses much closer to Christmas in previous years, but as a parent, I carry on a degree of normality for DS. I could never cancel Christmas! I just don't have that option, even when my world has fallen apart, or I've been ill. I'm feeling angry. I'm also feeling belittled by the whole tone, especially the last sentence. Am I being unfair on him? Is this a normal email to send to the RP of your child? Is this normal?
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Email from ex
15 replies
EggnogOgg · 27/12/2015 20:36
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