DP and I are on the verge of splitting up. we have a two year old dd and have been together 4 and half years.
He snooped at my phone a couple of weeks ago and saw a conversation I had with my sister. It was basically a link to an article about narcissists behaviour and explained why I haven't been able to be intimate with him for a while (the never apologise therefore never resolved part). I say snooped because my phone is in a flip case with a magnetic clasp and pass-coded. He claims it fell off the drawers and flipped open to the conversation with my sister.
HUGE back-story is that every time he's kissed me/cuddled me/said he loves me during the last few months it's made me cringe inside. Having spent the last few months mulling over this I realised it was down to the rows we've had where he called me a c&*t and another time where he just kept on and on at me for over an hour about something totally insignificant. Another time he shouted when our daughter was nursing. and another time he came right up to my face nose-to nose.
Following the snooping, which was while I was putting daughter to bed, He didn't tell me he'd seen it, he just went all uncommunicative and snippy and went to bed in the spare room. it was only when I told him the following day that I suspected what had happened that he owned up.
He has never apologised for any of the things he's done. He'll just wake up the following morning and act like it never happened and if I mention any of it I'm the one causing the problem. I just feel nothing ever gets resolved and I'm not allowed to express my hurt and unhappiness at his actions. During the last few months I've felt so lonely and unloved. We no longer have ANY physical intimacy, not even holding hands.
He's never had a high sex drive and I do wonder if the only reason he ever had sex with me was to produce our daughter (we're both early forties so was pretty much last-chance saloon). We've had sex only once every 3 or 4 months since dd was born and these were at my instigation.
Another thing he does is say something deliberately contentious then when I pull him up on it say that he was only joking and that I've no sense of humour. I've got a sense of humour if it's funny!
Currently we're at loggerheads. He says all our problems are of my making and I'm just desperately wanting him to be sorry.
I don't want to have to uproot dd and I hate the thought of not seeing her on dps weekends.
I'm just so lonely and at my wits end.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Should I just End this relationship?
HalloumiToastie · 13/12/2015 20:18
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