DH and I are flailing amd it's getting to the stage that I think there's no coming back from it.
Bit of background. DH and I together 10 years, married for 4 and DS born two years ago. Since DS there has been little to no physical intimacy. We've maybe dtd three -four times in the past 3 years. During the pregnancy I had spd and after I had severe pnd so there wasn't much opportunity but DH was still affectionate. I could always get a hug and a hand-hold if needed.
Things have settled down on the home front-we're both really busy with work, DS and I'm at uni studying on top of working FT so we're both shattered. That's fine-I'm not particularly highly sexed and he clearly isn't that bothered as hasn't made any effort at all.
I really just miss the intimacy. He no longer hugs or kisses me-he pisses about on his phone. I'm just as bad as I spend most evenings after work continuing to work or study.
We've spoken about it and he's vowed to make more of an effort but I'm still waiting. I get the distinct impression that he loves me now as the mum of his child and would find someone else if ot wasn't so much effort/mean losing time with DS.
It's horrible to think that we're just floating along, not entirely unhappily, but just more like housemates instead of husband and wife.
I don't want to be ungrateful; he's a good man, loves DS to bits and isn't a total shithead but I can't keep going on like this.
Thing is, if he turned around tomorrow and said that it was over I'd be sad, but I'd just get on with it. We'd be fine, DS would be fine and life would go on. My worry is that we potter on and he strays-I'm not sure he would as he's not the type but it would make a split acrimonious.
As I see it, there are my options:
- potter on and hope for the best. We're busy, have a young child and are(hopefully) just going through a bad patch. We're not miserable-why rock the boat when it might get better.
- call it a day and sort things out quickly. It's potentially throwing away a decent relationship because of one (big) thing. There are worst things than no intimacy-i Can always get a hug from DS or my mum.
Suggestions on a postcard.