Hello,
I'm starting this thread because I recently started one in infant feeding and the whole thing has made me realise that my partner is a bit of an arsehole.
He doesn't actually do anything unless it directly benefits himself, and isn't particularly nice to me.
We had a DD nearly 7 months ago. She's been fully breast fed until we started BLW recently.
Since she has been born, my partner has not once got up with her in the night or in the mornings so that I can have a lay in. Yet every single opportunity he gets to have one, he does. If he doesn't start work until 11, he won't be up until 9. If he's not working that day, he won't be up until he is ready to get up ect.
Baby was born on a Sunday... The next day it was me rushing around getting my older DC ready for school and for the remaining 2 weeks of his paternity leave and his 2 weeks annual leave after that I was the one doing EVERYTHING whilst he would stay in bed until 11, then shoot off to the gym.
He doesn't do ANYTHING around the house.The rare occasion that he does he acts like he's fucking Cinderella and that he's doing me a massive massive favour. I can cook a dinner the night before, he can't even be bothered to chuck the chicken carcass in the bin and soak the pans. The next morning I will have to clear this all up before even getting started on breakfasts for myself and the kids. baring in mind he is the last up, he never ever makes the bed or opens the blinds.
DF and DFIL will come over and do the more diy type tasks because if it's left to him, it just doesn't get done. It's fucking embarrassing and it pisses me off that my dad will be over cutting the grass. My dad gets pissed off but does it because I'm his daughter and it's his grand children's garden. (I can't do these things myself due to disability). Whilst these sort of things are going on DP will be in bed, playing on his phone, laptop or at the gym. There won't be any offer of any sort to help out. His own dad has just done a beautiful job of decorating DDs bedroom (over the weekends as he works full time) and my DP hasn't even bothered to call to thank him. Entitled wanker.
He doesn't ever do anything nice for me. I asked him for a back rub the other day because my back was sore... He would only give me one if I rubbed his head for ten minutes (he actually timed it).
He never ever praises me, or says anything positive to me. He only focuses on the negative. I had a home birth with DD, and I did a fucking good job considering she had her head at a funny angle, all he does is go on about WHAT A BIG DEAL I MADE OUT OF THE WHOLE THING and the 'funny noises' I made (and does impressions of them taking the piss out of me, and even to his friends IN FRONT OF ME).
We were starting to plan our wedding. I want it local as we can't afford something fancy and my main friends who I want there more than anyone won't be able to afford something abroad. He's absolutely insistent that it's abroad. Like won't even discuss a 'boring English wedding'. He think we can rent a villa that sleeps ten, hold the wedding there, and have our grooms and bridal party stay there and SPLIT THE COST with them... As in a £10k and 10 bedroom villa would be charged to each person as £1k each!!!. (I can see the AIBU now 'DH being best man and charged to stay at wedding venue abroad, AIBU to tell them to fuck off!) what the fuck!
He has recently started playing with the baby more, but makes a particular show when he's in front of his mother, who thinks the sun shines out of his arse.
Another thing he keeps doing, which I find quite concerning. He throws all his energy, time and money into various business ideas... Chucks loads of time and money at them. Fails at the first hurdle and then gives up. Moves onto the next one. I'm a bookkeeper, yet he doesn't discuss a single thing with me. At first he was just chucking his disposable income into it but recently he's started borrowing to finance these. Since March/April I'd say it's verging on £15-£20k of wasted money on failing business ideas...
What the fuck do I do? I don't even like him ATM.
Oh just to add some context... I'm self employed and work from home around the baby and my older child (from a previous relationship) so the whole he's at work all day idea doesn't wash well with me.
Thanks in advance for any responses... I'm anticipating lots of LTBs!
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
My 'D'P actually isn't very nice.
Crazybaglady · 08/11/2015 10:18
I am on your other thread. Sorry, but the full story is even worse.
Do you like him? Does he benefit your life in any way? Because it sounds like the only thing you'd notice if he left is less work.
Oh, and I'd say LTB for mocking you in labour alone.
my infant feeding thread here
Hopefully that link worked.
Before DD was born he was actually nice to me. He didn't do any DIY stuff at mine and he didn't actually move in until a few months before DD was born. His own place was immaculate so I thought it would be the same here. My DS likes a good lay in on the weekends so i always got to sleep in. He was and still is incredible with DS. It was like DDs birth flicked the wanker switch in his brain.
House situation is it's a housing association house (not council but a private housing association) and in my name as I've been here for years. We don't have our finances combined (a conscious decision of mine).
I'm defiantly not going to be marrying him any time soon.
At the moment he does not benefit my life in any single way, apart from being some company. That's literally it.
libraries hello
But...why?? Why would you be with this arsehole in the first place? Let alone have his baby, let him move in with you and get engaged...? Did he have a totally different personality when you met? Or (to quote) does he have a solid gold cock?
I'm sorry if I dont sound sympathetic, it's just that the more threads like this I read, the more I just feel utter disbelief that anyone would think having a no mark waste of skin like this in their lives would be better than being alone.
Of course kick his selfish arse out, quicker the better.
It sounds like you have fab parents, which is good, they will be a great support. Although lone parenthood probably won't be much of a change really.
Oh, and before he leaves, make sure and get your mates round, kick him really hard in the balls and then stand around pointing and laughing at the funny noises he makes.
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.