Sorry I don't have any support and I need to share with someone....Been married/together 12 years (2 children in school) . My husband has only had one other partner before me (long term) - no history of cheating. We moved to the Netherlands from the UK over 2 years ago for my husbands' job - children are now bilingual and settled here. Although admittedly we have had some difficulties in our marriage I did expect him to be faithful. I've had suspicions for the last 8 months that he was getting close to someone at work - he travels abroad regularly and I first became suspicious when he went away twice with one particular female colleague (second trip was alone for a week with her.) Then on a weekend break away to Edinburgh with me a text message popped up while he was in the shower - from the same woman, the tone was very over-familiar - we'd been to see some comedy (she said something about "....Hope you save some humour for me"). I noticed later that day he had deleted the message. I confronted him about this and he completely denied any wrong doing and said she was a good work friend and had been asking about a 'work issue' and he deleted it as he felt it was inappropriate to discuss work while we were away. We had a huge row about it and he said the issue was more about us and we needed to sort out our marriage. I continued to have my suspicions as he now no longer talks to her at all by text, so I suspect he is chatting to her some other way (i.e. password protected laptop). He said he also had a word with her and told her I wasn't happy about him having 'work texts' at home. I have tried to get on with things as normal and hoped this was the end of it, but I just discovered a very personal message written on a piece of paper tucked in my husbands notebook - see image. Whichever way I look at it, this can only be from someone who is more than just a 'good friend'. I know it's from her as the 'tone' is the same as the text message. I can't believe he would jeopardise our marriage like this, he knows very well that I would divorce him if he was unfaithful. I don't know how far this has gone between them, it could just be a flirtation or something more - but I'm completely taken aback by it. the woman (10 yrs younger than my husband) only got married a year ago herself- her husband works at the same company and I'm now considering contacting him to see if he has any suspicions and to show him the message she wrote to my husband. If I confront my husband about the message - I think he will just deny it's anything more than just a flirtation perhaps. If he knew I contacted her husband he will be furious with me and I fear he could walk out on me. What should I do? It's my daughters birthday next week and I really don't want to cause any problems before then. I'm feeling very devastated right now - I live in a foreign country and have no family support (except for my MIL but I can't talk to her about it) and i haven't made any close friends here yet I can talk to.
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Relationships
Crumbling marriage and suspected infidelity
pippy2013 · 28/10/2015 08:56
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