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bpd parent

(12 Posts)
Monkeybabiess111 Sun 25-Oct-15 15:28:37

Looking for some perspective on this (I put it in chat then realised its a relationship thing sorry)
If one of your parents had bpd did you have a good childhood and are you still in contact with them.

RoisinIwanttofightyourfather Sun 25-Oct-15 15:52:43

Not my mum but her sister had bi polar.
My cousins had a horrible horrible childhood. I had no idea until we were in our 40s just how bad it was for them.
When she was up, she had a voracious sex drive and would bring her gentlemen friends home in the afternoon whilst her husband was at work ( and out shagging his employee)
She put her two youngest in a boarding school, in the same town, just so she wasn't bothered by them and frequently forbade them to come home at weekends. They told me they were out with their friends in the town and saw her shopping. She saw them and gave them a stern look and shook her head. They hadn't spoken to her for a few weeks and were heartbroken.
She eventually got a diagnosis but long after her marriage had broken down and her children had grown.
Very very sad. She only died last year.

redannie118 Sun 25-Oct-15 16:05:24

My bpd dh has a daughter and is stepdad to my two boys. Hes a fantastic dad spends loads of time with all the kids and they all utterly adore him. he works very hard to keep his condition under control as much as he can (takes all meds,eats properly,doesnt drink,gets loads of fresh air and exercise)and the only time things have been bad have been whrn he's become immune to his meds and has got very low. Our kids are older and we explain that hes just not well and not to worry he will be better soon. Can I ask if you had issues wigh your parents op?

dreamingofblueskies Sun 25-Oct-15 16:45:56

Do you mean bi-polar or do you mean borderline personality disorder OP? If you mean the second, then my husband has it and is a great dad to our 3 DCs.

He does have wobbles every so often, we have explained what he has and we just say 'Dad's having a bad day' and the kids understand that it's best to be gentle with him that day.

The way that I see the future is that they will always be in contact with him, they think he's great. smile

Monkeybabiess111 Sun 25-Oct-15 16:53:26

Borderline personality disorder, I'm just wondering if all children land up affected if one of there parents have it.

dreamingofblueskies Sun 25-Oct-15 16:59:08

I think that if they are aware of the reason that the parent in question is behaving the way they are then that will help a great deal.

I think my children are affected, but not in an adverse way. They are aware that there are some days when their dad can't interact with them as much as usual, they take this in their stride.

Vixxfacee Sun 25-Oct-15 17:00:06

My mum did/does and I no longer have contact with her.
Lots of men,drugs, going out and leaving me and siblings , moving house and schools lots, domestic violence, poverty.

Monkeybabiess111 Sun 25-Oct-15 18:09:21

Thankyou.
The reason I was asking is I have bpd and googled parenting bpd and lots of websites came up saying my children will be effected in a negative way and it's really worried me.

pointythings Sun 25-Oct-15 18:42:07

Monkey a good friend and colleague of mine has bpd. She is one of the most insightful people I know, and a lovely parent to her two DDs. She works very hard to maintain her health in every way - she had a relapse this year but sought help at once and got back on track fast. BPD does not automatically make you a bad parent, you just need to work much, much harder at it. You sound like the kind of insightful person who can really make it. Don't let your condition stop you, just seek help, always admit that you have this condition and you will be fine.

Monkeybabiess111 Sun 25-Oct-15 18:56:16

I'm currently not well and finding it hard to get help from professionals as there's no therapy in my area for it.
This is why I've been Googling and trying to figure out ways to get back on track so my kids can have a good childhood.
This threw me a lot it's been playing on my mind for a few days.

dreamingofblueskies Sun 25-Oct-15 19:53:54

Have you looked at any self help books for BPD? My husband has a couple of DBT ones, have a look on Amazon, there's a few good ones there. He finds this one particularly helpful.
www.amazon.co.uk/Dialectical-Behavior-Therapy-Skills-Workbook/dp/1572245131
flowers

Monkeybabiess111 Sun 25-Oct-15 19:56:35

Dreaming thanks I have one on my kindle, I've been giving antidepressants I'm hoping they will work soon as I'm not able to concentrate on it.
I will have a look at that one to.

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