Angry and wanting revenge!

[rockabillyruby82]

Ok, so a few of you prob recognise my user name and know what has been happening in my marriage.
A quick rundown for those that don't.
I'm 20 weeks pregnant, found out 2 weeks ago H having an affair since June. I know woman, she knows me (not friends)
I kicked H out, started to grieve, been through hell and still am.

Since than I have been able to read some of his fb msgs to OW, most recently on Sunday.

I'm posting because I am fucking fuming. He told me he'd been to the cinema Fri night with colleagues, he hadn't, he went with her and went back to hers after. On Sat he looked after our DS at our house (he's yet to move and I have to work nights). That night he messaged her asking if she'd come over, she said no. On the Sun he stayed again whilst I was at work. I have requested he doesn't sleep in my bed whilst I'm at work but the following morning he said he'd been woken by our DS and had laid on top of the bed with him. My bed was immaculately made and it was clear he had been in the bed. I'm wondering if OW came round.

I don't care if he is seeing her, I care about being lied to constantly and I am so angry!
Tomorrow I have my 20 week scan and he is coming with me. I'm going to confront him on the lies and what I know whilst DS is not around and I'm going to ask if OW stayed Sun night.
If she did I know I am going to blow!!

[rockabillyruby82]

He's not, only when I'm at work.
He's waiting to sign contract on a rental then he can have DS stay at his while I work. I can't not work unfortunately.

[rockabillyruby82]

He should be getting house this week so won't be staying here again. If he doesn't he can either stay at a family members with DS or I'll call in sick. I don't want him here overnight again if what I think is true.

[spanisharmada]

I'm appalled he even has the gall to ask her over on the sat, wtf was he thinking??!

[rockabillyruby82]

That in itself makes me angry, I have no idea WTF he would think that's ok. I just don't understand his mentality, I'm sure his undergone a personality transplant. The man I married has most definitely gone but has been replaced by this vile, despicable piece of shit that doesn't give a fuck about anyone, not even his DS.
How confusing for DS, walk into mummy and daddy's bedroom and there she is!!!
I'm making myself more angry by the minute!

[Phoenix0x0]

I thought the OW had dumped him....?

So obviously it was short lived. Please don't believe anything he says and the sooner he gets his own place, the sooner you can set firm boundaries.

[rockabillyruby82]

So did I! It would seem she's either changed her mind or they've become FWB

[Phoenix0x0]

Yuck!

Well you are well rid of him...in fact they sound like the deserve each other.

Keep pushing for his move to the flat.

And stop reading his FB....it will only cause you more stress which you don't need.

[rockabillyruby82]

Oh I know I shouldn't and I wouldn't if he was honest.
If he had her here Sun night I am going to batter him, I know I will and quite possibly worse!

[ScrambledSmegs]

Why is he coming to the scan? I'd have thought it would be an intensely private moment for you and those who care about you. You really don't need the added stress of having to 'play nice' with him in front of the sonographer.

Can you ask somebody else to go with you? You can always show him the scan picture later.

[petalsandstars]

I wouldn't have him at the scan either

[rockabillyruby82]

I softened a bit last week and said he can come. I'm not looking forward to it, I know I'm going to get upset.
I'm now going to use it as opportunity to pull him up on his lies whilst DS is well out of the way.
If my suspicions are right I'm going to leave him stranded at the hospital and take my revenge.

[tornandhurt]

My main issue in your position would be that when he has you DS that and only that should be his priority.

Question - I assume your DS is relatively young. what on earth does he think would happen or how would he explain some other woman being in mummys home when she was at work..........would he encourage DS to lie for him if caught etc etc........sorry I'm not trying to wind you up even more, but this would be my concern.

[rockabillyruby82]

DS is 2, wouldn't understand what is happening or say something but still very unfair on him

[rockabillyruby82]

Cherry TBH my pregnancy doesn't feel amazing or exciting. It feels tainted and destroyed by his actions

[shutupanddance]

Don't let him come to the scan. Don't batter him.
Get rid asap sp you are never in this situation again.
Count your lucky stars to be well rid.

[Jan45]

Stop engaging with him, you are feeding into the drama yourself, he's shown you his worth so why are you even giving him an inch, take someone that really cares about you, stop involving him until baby is born the sort out an arrangement if you have to, I'd be keeping this twat out my life as much as possible.

You're not on JK.

[Annnabellla]

I agree with Jan45 that you are feeding into the drama and I can totally understand why, but this will not help you rid yourself of this man. Your priority needs to be your DS who will pick up on your emotions and DHs nonsense. Its time to be a grown up and use your time wisely - stay off FB and research divorce solicitors instead.

The best revenge will be to show you are getting on with your life without him quite nicely - you may need to fake it til you make it but this will hurt him far more than any tantrums at the hospital.

[rockabillyruby82]

You're right, I know you are. I just wanted to make him suffer just a little bit like I am. He'll suffer one day when he realises what he's lost.
I've told him I can't have him there tomorrow and he needs to make other arrangements for having DS if he hasn't moved by Friday.
Thanks for listening to me in my hour of angry madness!

[Jan45]

Good luck, you don't need that kind of negativity in your life, esp now.

[Bladders73]

I don't think he should be coming to the scan either. Well done for putting him in his place.