How many of us are out there?
How many, like me, had a DH who they thought was very loving towards them, loyal, trustworthy and felt they had a healthy marriage only to have their DH disappear without ever indicating any unhappiness?
My DH followed the script from the book to a tee. Dropping the bombshell "just like that" after dinner and leaving within minutes. The reasons he gave later were as the book says "trivial or fraudulent". He became cruel overnight and tried to make himself the victim for the suferring he had endured of which he had never mentioned even in passing before.
No remorse, anger directed at me, friends and family turned against me, no interest in helping me or making it any easier and he redefined everything and our marriage and life as I saw it.
Would love to hear from anyone else, and how they came on over the years. I am 2.5 years in and while I have healed in many ways I still struggle with certain elements of it.
Mainly all the people who believed those lies about me. How I did not know who he really was for all those years. How I am supposed to feel about him in retrospect beause I feel both love and hate. Self esteem and fear all th time and needing reassurance from people.
There's a bit of me that still feels just totally bewildered and can't believe it ever happenned. In hindsight I see flaws in him (selfishness, manipulation) that I did not see back in the years when he loved me and chose to treat me like gold.
I do wonder where I will be in 5 years, 10 years or how marriage with someone new will work.
Anyone else out there?
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Runaway Husbands and Abandoned Wives?
Langoustine · 10/10/2015 15:54
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