My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Delayed ejaculation and its impacts...

8 replies

Espressotini · 09/10/2015 19:47

Evening everyone, question from my Dsis - her bf of 7m has delayed/non existent ejaculation and she wants to hear from others what impacts it has had on long term relationships.

Up til now she's not found it a huge issue, but is starting to find that it's impacting her self confidence, and is also worried about how they would cope should they stay together and potentially want to start a family.

Her bf is 28 and believes the issues are due to death grip from previous-has been tested previously, and not testosterone related or anything. He's just been referred to a sex clinic, but is not keen on the idea as thinks it's physical more than mental.

Basically, interested in any similar stories and what outcomes they had please!

OP posts:
Report
Wotsitsareafterme · 09/10/2015 20:58

I don't know but an ex I'm v close with had this issue.

Report
painted1234 · 09/10/2015 21:43

I have experience of this, I would say its a massive deal. Sex becomes a chore. A long and drawn out affair, and because of this I ended up having sex less because it would always take a long time. You could never just have a quick, spontaneous night as it the length of time sucked all the fun out of it.

maybe the clinic wil help

Report
MissApple · 09/10/2015 22:00

death grip? The mind boggles

Report
Espressotini · 09/10/2015 22:37

Thanks for replying painted. I think that's what she's afraid of. Hoping the clinic helps too!

MissApple - death grip is not quite as bad as it sounds - basically regular/over enthusiastic masturbation causes desentivity, which obviously impacts on penetrative sex!

OP posts:
Report
Shesinfashion · 09/10/2015 22:43

My partner suffers from this too. Maybe I should say I suffer from it since I am very happy and more than content with up to an hour of sex but he takes ages, hours to come. I blame it on the fact he was circumcised as a child. He even has problems wanking.

Report
Cabrinha · 10/10/2015 13:49

My XH took fecking ages. It made everything a chore and TTC was just terrible as we had to finish a certain way, and I ended up doing things that didn't turn me on at all - just dirty talk about stuff that turned him on but not me. It was mechanical and awful.

Turned out he had a prostitute habit so I guess I didn't "do it for him" Hmm

I would now have to love someone very very very much not to walk away from shit sex.

Tbf, it wasn't the lack of sensitivity - he was just utterly shit at sex, selfish etc.

Report
Espressotini · 10/10/2015 15:45

Thanks for all the input everyone! Apparently the issue is the opposite of him being selfish, more that he doesn't seem that bothered about finishing! Dsis has tried taking to him but can't see to get anywhere.

OP posts:
Report
goodcompany2 · 11/10/2015 18:59

This is my bf! Sorry if TMI. Never ejaculates during PIV sex, can last all night but rarely comes. He reassured me this was his normality & not my 'fault'. Once I let go taking responsibility for his orgasm it became a non-issue. He is a wonderful, selfless lover & not focusing on his orgasm coupled with his ability to keep going has meant that I now orgasm during PIV!! Hurray. Smile

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.