Friends or lack of them...

[mom36]

Hi,

I am new here and wasn't quite sure where this fitted. Seems a nice place and I am just working my way around.

Anyway, I will get to my question.

I am a parent of a ten year old with ASD who was diagnosed 4 years ago.

Does anyone else feel like their friends just dont want to bother with them?

I understand they are busy, people have other lives especially as parents. However, I make the time for people and feel like I am always the one ringing asking if they are busy and if they would like me to call and have a chit chat.

I contacted someone last week, I havn't met up with them for a good while and thought she would like a little catch up. I also knew she would say no with a thousand excuses, and thought if there was no effort made I am not bothering again. Yep, thousand excuses and no effort of a rearrange. I wasn't asking her to do cartwheels for me, just an hour of her time for a catch up...even if she rearranged for another day would have been good but no, nothing.

I do feel lonely, and I do do something about it, I go to groups to meet other parents and make friends etc.

Anyway, anyone else feel like this??? or am I just a little sensitive???

[Strawberry22]

Hi there
I feel exactly the same like no one has time for me I feel so lonely when I've needed my friends the most it's like no one is there for me. I have a 4 yr old son and my husband went to prison when I was pregnant so feel very depressed and lonely

[MammyInTraining]

Pretty lonely here too... Not that that's much help sorry!

[Strawberry22]

Is there anybody I can chat to maybe email or whatsapp feeling very down

[Roastturnip]

I'm find making friends so hard. I can do the social chit chat at the school gates type stuff but for some reason people find it hard to 'bond' with me .....not sure why, its like I put up some kind of invisible barrier to stop people getting close. Consequently I have very few friends I 'do stuff' with or can rely on for support when needed. I often feel lonely too

[CherryPicking]

I know how you feel. Saw a couple of old friends at a thing the other week. Just bumped into them. They were polite enough - at first, but it quickly became clear they had real friends to hang out with. Made me feel like a hanger on. Not nice. I guess there's a reason people can't be arsed with me.

[pallasathena]

We're not a very kind nation we Brits compared to people from more family oriented cultures. Here, people will make an effort if they want something from you but not bother otherwise. Compared with other countries, we're a largely negative, cynical, insular bunch of people who don't do very well in the happiness stakes internationally, who live lives constantly stressed out and fearful of all sorts happening. Its sad.

I don't think its you o/p. I think its our society.

[Atenco]

Made me feel like a hanger on. Not nice. I guess there's a reason people can't be arsed with me

Gosh that struck a chord! I've been in many situations like that but these feelings will pass when you meet people of your ilk, honestly.

They have a saying here in Mexico, that you are not a little gold coin for everyone to love you. Which basically means it is not your fault.