My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

AIBU - parents attitude

6 replies

sweetandsun · 18/09/2015 20:51

I don't know if this is a case of me being over-sensitive or whether I am right in feeling fed up about the way my parents treat me.

Its a petty problem compared to most on here... ive just felt down about it today and not sure if i need to get a grip!

i live around 2 hours from my parents. everytime i organise to meet them, they come up with various excuses last minute:

  • they 'forget' we have made plans and say i must drive to them (i already do this now and then anyway) and that they wont meet where we originally agreed (despite it being a half hour drive for them)
  • say get to the venue between 1 and 2 hours late
  • they change plans half an hour before (sometimes by the time i have already left).


when i go to see them, they will often not be in, or change plans last minute. a few months ago i booked time off work as they wanted us to 'go away as a family' and i was reluctant to do it as it was far for me to travel, then two days before they told me they had decided not to go away anymore... if i hadnt mentioned it i doubt i would have been told until the day.

im by no means 'attached' to my family in a way where i feel i cant be apart from them, but i do feel guily when they tell me i dont see them enough etc...and then why i try to, they seem to treat me like crap. neither of them would treat their friends this way, so i dont understand it.

these things have become a common theme, and i feel conflicted because my parents arent bad people, and i know they care for me, but this attitude where they obviously couldnt give a shit about messing up my weekends/having a go at me for no reason, has started to get to me. this time i have made my own excuses before anything has the opportunity to be arranged, as i need a few weeks off from it all. we only see each other once or twice a month, but there is always a problem. they both work part time whereas i get home at gone 9pm each night, and it's like they have no understanding of this - i want to enjoy my weekend not spend it being messed around by my family or having to deal with a drama.

am i being unfair here? is this just family stuff we all have to deal with and i should get over it?!

thanks in advance :)
OP posts:
Report
pocketsaviour · 18/09/2015 20:54

No you're not being unfair.

my parents arent bad people, and i know they care for me

I beg to differ. I'm sorry :(

If a boyfriend did this to you, you'd dump him. You don't have to take disrespect from anyone.

Report
sweetandsun · 18/09/2015 20:56

They will call an hour or so later, or text and say am i ok etc... and if i make a fuss and say theyve upset me, they can be quite sarcastic and brush it off. not in a properly nasty way, but more in a way that makes me feel quite small and as if i am making a drama.

it's confusing.

OP posts:
Report
sweetandsun · 18/09/2015 20:58

making a joke out if it...that's probably the closest description i can think of.

OP posts:
Report
Misnomer · 18/09/2015 20:59

YANBU. It's not you, it's them. I'm sorry but they sound horrible.

Report
loveyoutothemoon · 18/09/2015 21:05

You've given them too many chances. If it was me, I wouldn't talk to them any more. Maybe they will realise.

Report
Atenco · 18/09/2015 22:19

I don't know about not talking to them anymore, but I would let them do the running. I have had friends a bit like that, so I always take any supposed plans with a pinch of salt. If they are going to come to your house, either let it be a day that you feel like hanging out at home, or arrange a backup plan for if they cancel.

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.