Hi all,
As the subject says, my parents and my partner are on the brink of a full-blown war and I'm not sure how to cope.
I should maybe start by saying that my mother is a narcissist. My childhood wasn't terrible - I wanted for nothing - but although the physical things were there, the toys, the sweets, the emotional support was not. My mother also has a problem with alcohol.. not in the sense of being an alcoholic but more in a sense of when she drinks, she becomes angry and will lash out at those closest to her (one particular unpleasant experience on my 23rd birthday when she called me drunk and told me she wished I had never been born and I was no daughter of hers).
Anyway, I digress.. I met my DP 5 years ago and we bought a house together 3 years later. I'll be the first to admit that my relationship with my parents now is terrible. Possibly as a consequence, my DP's relationship with my parents has been very rocky. I won't go into great detail as I'll be here all day but it has gotten to the stage now where my mother tries to be polite but you can tell she really dislikes my DP... while my dad totally ignores him in the street. My DP has understandably had enough and now wants nothing to do with either of them. I could probably cope with the situation if they were civil with each other for my sake but it has gone past that stage.
My DP is just so angry with them all the time. It is almost all he talks about. He doesn't want them round at our house anymore (not that they come round at all anyway unless they want something) and he keeps talking about how he wants me to "cut all ties with them completely". Before anyone jumps in with "Oh, that is a sign of him being controlling" I don't think he means never speak to them again, he means things like, for example, we are storing some of their furniture for them since they downsized in April.. DP now wants rid of everything of theirs and is willing to chuck it all out in the street if necessary. He is constantly dwelling on the way my mother treats me and how out of order my dad is being for ignoring him and I know DP probably has my best interests at heart but I just feel like telling him to back off because he is becoming just as overwhelming as my parents are.
I'm not sure what I'm expecting from this thread.. I just wonder if anyone has been through something similar? How did you work through it? Do you just accept your parents will never have a relationship with your DP?
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Relationships
How to cope when my parents and partner are at war.
DaniBubbles · 16/09/2015 01:57
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