Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Stop me making a stupid confession

(11 Posts)
udderland Sun 13-Sep-15 10:39:56

I have a crush on my male BF. I adore him but I've never told him, in fact I go the other way and play it very cool sometimes to hide how much I like him. Until recently he had a longterm DP but about 3 months ago he separated from her, and almost immediately started datng someone new. Whilst I wasn't prepared to tell him how I felt when he was in a steady relationship, part of me wants to put my cards on the table now and point out to him how well i think we'd work romantically, just so I know whether he's ever had the same thought (I am single BTW). The other part of me thinks that if he had anything other than platonic interest in me he's had plenty of chances to do something about it.

cremeeggboycotter Sun 13-Sep-15 18:22:41

Tough OP, very tough.

You could put yourself out there and get shot down, with the relationship strained.

You could ignore it and not have that strain.

You could put yourself out there and find he feels the same and have a great relationship.

You could ignore it and miss out.

What does your gut tell you? Not your heart, your gut.

Could you try hinting a bit? Perhaps ask him out for a drink, be a little flirty, just a bit and see how he responds. You can always blame it on the drink if he's not interested.

magoria Sun 13-Sep-15 18:24:36

He knew you were available.

If he were interested I think he would have made a move.

Sorry.

beaglesaresweet Mon 14-Sep-15 00:53:22

magoria, but not if OP has been playing very cool!
Yes, try to flirt a bit and see - does he look pleasantly surprised or makes some jokey remark about you acting 'odd'?

Dowser Mon 14-Sep-15 04:15:41

I'm in magoria's camp. He knew she was available. Plus you don't want to break them up either.

At the most I'd just say jokingly, I thought I was in with a chance when you and * Split . Then leave it at that.

If its meant to be it will happen

TheEnemy123 Mon 14-Sep-15 10:34:35

As a bloke, it is possible this guy either thought he was friend zoned or that she just wasn't interested. I had a close friend who I spent a lot of time with, and I fancied her to bits but I was certain she only saw me as a friend so I decided to just go with that and enjoy the laughs without ever trying for anything more.

Not all guys make moves on anything female :D

tribpot Mon 14-Sep-15 10:45:08

I don't think you can hit on him whilst he's with someone else. But maybe you need to be ready to make your declaration next time he's single.

However, consider how much you could be losing - would the friendship ever be the same again? That said, having such strong, non-friend feelings for a friend is probably not that healthy for you anyway. I don't exactly mean 'dump him because you like him' but consider if hanging out with someone for whom you have unrequited feelings is the best thing for you.

cremeeggboycotter Mon 14-Sep-15 19:03:03

OP is he just going on a few dates with her or are they a couple? The former is fine because they aren't exclusive, the latter yes I wouldn't do either. I hadn't noticed he'd moved on so quick, thought he was single!

NullaBore Mon 14-Sep-15 19:05:59

Have you never got drunk and flirted too much?

EngTech Mon 14-Sep-15 19:06:24

Are in the "Friends only" corner?

NullaBore Mon 14-Sep-15 19:06:31

With your bf l mean grin

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now