How to deal with people who act unreasonably but are super fussy about how you treat them?

[RealityPlanet]

I am sick to the back teeth of people who think that they can treat me as they wish and then fall out with me if I do or say anything that remotely comes close to how they have behaved towards me.

For example the woman who lives next door to us moans at us if we make even the slightest sound, she moaned when we put a new fence up which didn't even border on her property as she didn't like it, moans if we have a barbecue as she has her washing out (we've not had a bbq in 3 years so it's not like we have them often!!). Yet she and her family have barbecues every weekend through the summer, their dog barks constantly in the middle of the night too, and they make a lot of noise with arguing, music playing etc. I know that if she was ever tackled about the things that she would moan at us about, she would go absolutely bonkers!

Also DD's school friend's mum is overly involved and invested in her DD's friendships and blows hot and cold towards me depending on how things are in our DDs friendship at the time (the girls are 10). She is sometimes very snappy at DD and doesn't hesitate to tell her off if the girls have had an argument. Yet if I did the same to her DD and was snappy towards her or - shock horror - told her off, the mum would hate it and would probably fall out with me big time. When it was sports day in the summer the mum was sitting near me and the girls came over and my DD said something to the mum and the mum totally snapped at my DD and shot her down.

Why can't some people take what they dish out?

[Aqualady]

What did you say when she snapped at your Dd?

[stayanotherday]

I agree. It's one rule for them and another for everybody else. They think they're more important. I hated confrontation and got walked over. No more. I give as good as I get these days and if they don't like it, that's up to them.

[something2say]

Me too. I don't stand for it and I don't care what people think either. If a comment needs to be made I will make it. It's shit isn't it when it has to be like that, but the upshot is I don't blame myself and I do take myself away from folk like that. They get their telling off and away I go. Life's too short to spend it around people who irritate. Seriously, say to that woman that you don't speak to her child like that and therefore you don't expect to hear her speaking to yours like that, and then walk away leaving her open mouthed. It doesn't matter if she is open mouthed. Perhaps she needs to be.

[stayanotherday]

Well said. People like this need putting in their place. It's a pity but they think they can get away with it otherwise.

[Atenco]

I had a friend like that. She criticised left, right and centre but the slightest criticism of her was like a nuclear attack.

How do you cope with this woman laying into your dd, OP?

[Skiptonlass]

I treat them exactly the same as anyone else and bollocks to them if they're over sensitive.

I do always let the neighbours know if we're lighting the barbie though.

[Jan45]

Bollocks to both women, in fact I'd purposely have even more BBQs and more fences put up just to show her I can dish out the same shit.

Seriously, you can do it very subtly, as for the one who tells of your daughter, just tell her next time, you do that, not her, cheeky bitch.

They do it cos you are letting them away with it, once you stand your ground their attitude towards you will change - for the better.

[treaclesoda]

You'd be better off if they did fall out with you. You could just avoid interacting with them then.

In the meantime I would treat them exactly how they treat you. They've laid the ground rules after all.

[StillRaving]