My ex came over today ......

[bouquetdiva]

We were together for 3 years and split up 2 months ago. Since then we have seen each other a few times and today he came over to finish a few jobs. It started well enough but then he became irritated with me and left, saying that he is content now not to have to put up with me anymore and that he needs someone with more drive and focus who he can rely on to get the job done. I can go into more detail but really the issues were trivial. I guess he is really saying that he has moved on and that this is final

I'm not sure what I am asking here, it has helped to write it down. I'm feeling upset as I hoped for a different outcome today!

[Griphook]

He was was just sticking the knife in a bit more, it sounds a bit like a power thing, must have made him feel good making you feel like shit. You're better off without him

[bouquetdiva]

Thanks Griphook! That has made me feel a bit better. I've been feeling like shit since he left. He made me feel so slow and stupid and really it's not true at all

[kittybiscuits]

It sounds like he was just making a drama so he could flounce off without finishing the jobs. My children do that sometimes.

[Nothavingfunrightnow]

"My children do that sometimes".

My STBXH also came around one day to do a small job. It was not a good idea after all and I will not ask him for anything again. I hope you are ok.

[bouquetdiva]

Thank you for your replies. I am struggling to accept that he does not want me anymore. He is happy getting on with his life and I am missing him and thinking about him all the time. When we see each other I am anxious and not my best :(

[Duckdeamon]

Don't see him at all for a long while: much easier that way.

Why would you want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you?

Certainly don't get him to do any more jobs or invite him round.

[something2say]

You sound different. He is one way, you are another. What he appears to then do is find your way unacceptable, and therein lies the problem, because you are eminently acceptable exactly the way you are xx

[bouquetdiva]

Good advice. I will try to go no contact. I know it will be best in the long run but my instincts want to hold on! I had forgotten the physical pain a break up brings

[Duckdeamon]

It's more painful if you see him, honestly. If you have no DC together it's definitely the best thing, especially if he says hurtful things.

[absolutelyloveit]

I agree with something2say. Just because you are wrong for him doesn't make you wrong over all. You deserve someone who is right for you

[bouquetdiva]

Thanks everyone! Your words of encouragement have really helped xxx