Long story but here goes....
I'd known my bf 5 years 2 of which we were together for, he was my best friend. I have a son from a previous partner which my bf said he loved as his own, he loved me and he's a part of me. 8 months ago I found out I was pregnant ( it wasn't planned) I'm 26 he's a couple of years younger. He initially wanted an abortion, we spent the first 3 months him telling me that's what he wanted and that's what'd be best for us both and he'd be there for me through it every step of the way. I however do not believe in abortions and spent 3months explaining I didn't want to go through that, I'd decided I was keeping the baby and told him it's fine if he doesn't want to be involved.
He said no he'd be there he didn't want to look like one of those guys who ran off and left a girl pregnant.....I spent the following month trying the communicate about the baby with him but just got ignored and the subject changed to something he was interested in, I could understand he was scared and didn't want to push things.
He then informed me a while layer his mother was buying colts for her holiday home and her house and he'd decided they'd have the baby a few days and I'd have the baby the rest (after talking about moving his stuff in mine and telling me to make room for me making me believe he planned on staying there) my reaction was my baby isn't spending half the week away from me. If he wanted to spend every night with the baby he could move in and take responsibility and pay his way. If he didn't feel ready for this then he could stay at his mums as many days as he wanted but if he chose that them nights the baby would be staying at my house.
He then informed me that my son is not his and he won't be making him or me a priority. If both the children were being cared for whilst we were at work, he'd only be collecting his child and taking it to his home whilst leaving my other child in childcare. My reaction was he came into my son's life he new I had him when we got together and the children were to be treated the same end of. He wasn't happy with these 2 reactions from me and went on to dump me over Facebook.
He said he wasn't ready for commitment or responsibility and didn't want his money going on me or my child that he was going to live his life how he wants and be there for the child. He didn't ever want to come to my previous scan but since his mum now new wanted to come to the 20 week one so he could no the sex. I said I wanted someone with me at the scan that was going to support ME throughout my pregnancy and be there for ME when I'm at my most vulnerable, he'd.chose to go live his life and just turn up for a scan which honestly would have been stressful and difficult for me to cope with as I still loved him and didn't really get why he'd be happy to run off and leave me when I needed him most.
He went on to live his life going out etc whilst I was preparing for baby I put a pic of my scan on fb and he kicked of saying I was playing games and it was stressing his sister out, so I deleted them. Which was better for my own sanity too as I didn't have to see him adding aload of girls he'd met on dating sites.
I've had extra scans for growth as I was considered as high risk and wanted a 3d one too which I paid for. My mind set was leave him to wjat he wants to do and I'll enjoy my pregnancy buying outfits and preparing for baba.
I then received many texts from him and his mother (I was angry at the time) and I didn't want to meet up to discuss the arrangements of them seeing the baby it was vital my blood pressure remained low for the health of me and.baby and I didn't want to risk it meeting up with them and getting upset and stressed out more than I already was.
I later received a letter saying he felt he should be at future scans the birth he wanted it to have his last name and to decide the first name, after 3 months he wanted the baby at his half the week and if I didn't reply legal action would be taken. My reply was regarding the circumstances I didn't see it appropriate that he attended scans and the birth I stand by his rights as a father and would be in touch after the birth for when he could come and bond with baby.
I then received another letter from a solicitor saying that I urgently need to contact him regarding him seeing the baby which is still not born I need to phone him when I go into labour I need to take scan pictures of my Facebook (I'm not even friends with him on there anymore) but it's distressing for him they no I've been away as they saw on fb but they need me to get in contact ASAP so he knows when he can see the baby they recommend a minimum of an hour a day and he wants paternity leave.....
I just feel.like I can't be left alone all I want is to enjoy my pregnancy but all I'm getting is letters demanding what he wants I can understand he feels left out and uneasy not knowing what's going on but I've always said I want him to be in the baby's life and that whilst baby isn't here I want to be left alone and not be stressed out for the health of our baby. Which might be hard for him to understand but he made the choice to leave and live his life how he wanted whilst I carried on with the reality of pregnancy. Am I wrong to want to have this time to myself stress free with people who are supporting me without him ruining any bit of happiness I get?
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left at 4 months pregnant on facebook and now he won't leave me alone
94 replies
soph222 · 28/08/2015 17:51
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