Dating etiquette

[Sazzle41]

So .. I am internet dating in my 40's after only a couple of serious relationships and always going out with people i already 'knew' (work colleague or neighbour previously). I am also now in London which seems to have different morals/values... as in from what work colleagues have said and a few internet dates have said, sex is ... kind of date 2 or 3 here or they lose interest/don't bother pursuing it. Thats way, way too soon for me. Should I lighten up and move with times or stick to when I feel comfortable? I should add I am not talking months in, but date 2 or 3 feels bit too soon, I wouldnt feel i knew them well enough or be relaxed enought tbh.. maybe 5th or 6th date or thereabouts tho, going off past history).

[brannigan]

Definitely stick with when you feel comfortable. You will feel awful if you have sex on date 2 and he never contacts you again (I have been there!)

Internet dating is a great way to meet people, I am in London too and always have a pool of people to go out with which I otherwise would not meet - but beware of a few things.

First of all you will find more weirdos than you would at the office. Not just the overt weirdos but the people with hidden emotional issues. Be careful.

This is prime ground for players who just want sex. Be prepared for that.

Develop a thick skin because there is a lot of rejection and being messed about.

Good luck with it though, I have seen a lot of great stories on here of people who met their life partner OLD and it keeps my faith up!

[ARV1981]

Don't ever have sex unless you want it.

I don't think you should want to be with someone who loses interest after date 3 if you haven't dtd with them yet. Who'd want someone like that?

Ok, it may take you longer to find someone worthwhile but I think it's better to be completely comfortable with your sexual partner than have sex just because you think it's what they expect of you.

Good luck

[Wando]

You must only do what's comfortable for you. If someone is right they will wait. Good luck

[ThisIsFolkGirl]

Don't ever have sex with someone unless you want to!

If they lose interest, well it's their loss. You can have sex when you want; date 2 or date 5.

Have fun and pop over to the dating thread. You'll find it very supportive.

[Inexperiencedchick]

Where I'm from, sex is only after marriage :D

Dated, didn't have sex. The last one, not from OLD, was using The style you have described. I wasn't ready mentally for what he was after. He left and found someone else. Blamed me for being confused.

I'm glad that I came across your thread. I seriously didn't know why he was so pissed off. It's explains a lot.

Will be more cautious now :)

Good luck in your search.

[WhySoAngry]

Well, you know, there's 'sex' and DTD. There's a continuum to explore.

Maybe by Date 3 you might progress beyond snogging to intimate touching or even oral - allowing you to DTD by Date 5/6 if you feel comfortable with them.

Or not, if you don't.

[spudlike1]

Noooooo not until you feel comfortable. ..If a mean if a man loses interest because you re not interested in sex on the 3 rd date ...for heaven sake
He'll lose interest after the the sex as well think about it

[category12]

Stick to what makes you happy. Don't be pressured by anyone. The only person you have to live with is yourself so go at your own speed.

[sarahandemily]

Waiting a bit longer if that's what you want is probably a good way of filtering out the losers who you wouldn't want to be with anyway