Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

CCJ trust and bloody money

(4 Posts)
Scaredandanxious Thu 20-Aug-15 13:44:42

A little background...
Been together 12 years, married 8, one child, both self employed and it's not great at the moment for either business.
For the second time dh has got in a huge financial hole and now has a CCJ... Which he settled on the day it was issued so why the hell didn't he pay up before?!
Two years ago he had the threat of an even bigger debt turning into CCJ and I bailed him out from my company, I essentially earned less than minimum wage for 12 months as he didn't pay my business back.
Through our relationship I have supported us through his retraining, starting up a business, building a house, worked through our child's infancy (well full time from 4 months tbh) and I'm done with the pressure and responsibility.
I had 5 difficult phone calls from insolvency companies yesterday and he couldn't apologise or even say anything.
He complains when I try and plan ahead financially - I do all the household budgets, all the purchasing (down to the kit for his staff because he never gets round to it) he used to be the bill payer but he never did and our credit score was shit.
I don't want to be this person, I want to share this stuff so we are both aware of what we can and cannot do! He makes lovely grand gestures that we can't really afford leaving me wondering how we pay the mortgage...
Help, he is a lovely man, a great dad but I cannot live waiting for the next disaster

summerwinterton Thu 20-Aug-15 14:05:34

he isn't going to change. You just have to decide whether you can put up with it. But stop bailing him out. I would not wish to be financially linked with someone who cannot take responsibility for their own money.

Smilingforth Fri 21-Aug-15 07:36:25

It all sounds hard. Have you had an open and frank conversation with him?

Shutthatdoor Fri 21-Aug-15 07:38:57

Is there are reason for him keep getting into debt?. Sometimes there is a cause behind it.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now