Long story short, mother passed away late last year and within weeks dad is dating a woman 10 years younger than him. I'm reasonably happy for him, he lives miles away and doesn't have a close relationship with me or my kids so it doesn't really practically impact on my life although privately I have struggled to get my head around it.
Dad has gone head over heels for this woman and her him so it seems but quite soon she tried to 'lock horns' with me over small things, things I'd discussed with my dad, text messages between my dad etc. My dad became really strange and distant, I felt him withdrawing from me, he stopped answering my calls etc. I found out that she was telling my dad to stop talking to me. I can only think it's being done to assert her authority alongside my dad. I tell my dad I don't appreciate her interfering between us, I don't want arguments and hassle in my life and that id rather not bother with her if it's all the same to him. I reminded him she's not my mother, she's his GF and if I don't want to have anything to do with her then I don't have to. I'm in my mid forties and just cannot be bothered with people who don't bring peace and happiness to my life.
My father has taken great offence to this, her feelings have been terribly hurt apparently and in a nutshell unless I accept that she's now part of the family then I can go to hell myself. So, I went NC, didn't contact my dad for ten weeks. I thought I'd let the land lie etc. he ignored my birthday which hurt me terribly and this week I broke and called him as quite frankly I've missed him. He gave me short shrift and told me nothing had changed - she comes first and I'm to respect her.
So that's it. I still can't quite believe my dad is doing this. Anyone else been in this boat and how did it turn out? I suppose I should have seen it coming, my father always put my mother first even when she emotionally and physically abused me, he was too weak to put a stop to that too. I just don't know where to go from here.
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Relationships
Why do I HAVE to accept my dads new GF?
timeou · 18/08/2015 21:57
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