So so so proud of DS after letter from girls mother

[zas1]

Maybe the wrong location but here goes anyway. My DS is no doubt like many of the lovely DSs here a wonderful kindhearted and well adjusted young man, made all the more remarkable by the fact his father whom I finally divorced when DS wa 6 was/is a violent aggressive sexist bully with a full on sense of entitlement. I can't take all the credit as DS has made his own way and is 22 and at uni now. I just got the loveliest letter attached to an email from the mother of a girl whom DS tutored for significant periods over Easter and before for her A Levels. This girl who is the daughter of my friend has had a truly horrible time recently as it transpired she was abused as a child by a relative while abroad and since has had a long history of self harming, behavioural issues and unsurprisingly issues relating to men. So ok firstly the girl got a rare A star in her French paper which has her into her first choice uni but what really has.choked me up is what the Mum wrote about how kind my DS was to her and patient and how she has gone from being unable to be in the same room as another man to being on some part of the road to normality and how the Mum sees the kindness and ability to put someone at their ease of DS as being central to this. He is such a gentle goodhearted soul and I'm so very proud of him today and always. He knows about the grade but not about the letter. I just thought to share this.

[Kampeki]

Ah :) Well done to your ds, he sounds lovely!

[GarminGirl]

Well done to your DS! And credit to you too. How lovely

[HirplesWithHaggis]

Congratulations to the girl, and all the best for the future. And congratulations to your ds for doing well at uni and still taking the time to tutor this girl.

And congratulations to you too, you can take some of the credit for raising such a lovely young man.

[APlaceOnTheCouch]

What a lovely post! Your DS sounds a real credit to you. You should be proud of yourself and him. Well done!

[Sallyhasleftthebuilding]

Just shows how we touch the lives of others without realising it.

[bigTillyMint]

How lovely, OP. Well done to your DS and to you for bringing him up to be such a nice person

[Atenco]

This the best gift a mother can have. The credit is entirely your son's and entirely yours too as you obviously brought him up to have good values.

[Smilingforth]

Wonderful. Brings a tear to my eye

[zas1]

Thank you all for your lovely and kind . comments. I know it may have come across as boastful but really I suppose as well as sharing something nice I suppose something has struck me as my parenting days have drawn to a close ( tear in eye). As mothers we adw super conscious especially with sons I think of the same gendered role models around them. My DS is an only child who watched his father dismantle his mother's self confidence over the first 6 years of his life, hit her, shout at her and say unspeakable things every day. Not to mention showing no interest in his son's life and barely acknowledging him. Sadly I know from posts some MNs will be experiencing the very same tragedy right now. I was of course worried that DS would be traumatised or in some way emulate his father whom I truly believe hates women. Instead I have never had a moment's trouble from him. We struggled financially for many years and almost went under as his father paid £0 & long ceased to show any interest at all in ds. DS worked hard at school and always told me he did it to make me proud and because he loved me. Anyway before I go.on too long if you are in a bad situation and worried about the impact ona child I truly believe nurture can triumph over background. We as ds Mums are raising the next generation of partners for our daughters (mostly) and mine seems to have taken his act of teenage rebellion as to take the exact opposite approach to women than his father. Only it is not just teenage stuff as he is genuinely like that. I'm sure many of you are also doing wonderful work with DSs and DDs in difficult circumstances. I just wanted to share something to hopefully encourage you.

[AnyFucker]

oops, something in my eye

[BellMcEnd]

Fabulous. Well done to your DS and well done to you. This thread has really set me up for the day

[SnakeyMcBadass]

Lovely :)

[ValancyJane]

Aww that's so lovely! You must be so proud, well done to your DS

[catzpyjamas]

Well done zas, it sounds like you have raised him to be a really lovely man.

[Christinayanglah]

Lovely

[Quills]

That's so very lovely, thank you for sharing!

Well done to your DS - and well done to you too.

[WallyBantersJunkBox]

He sounds wonderful, but the credit also lies with you for being the constant in his life and an example of how to be.

It gives me hope that my DS can grown into a balanced and thoughtful caring young man if I keep working hard at it.

[zas1]

Wally I'm sure with your love and . encouragement that will be possible. So much is possible against the odds in life. I guess we forget that bad behaviour once understood as such can make someone resolve to be different themselves. This seems to be what happened with my DS. Now I just have to learn to let him go when he brings someone home :)))

[notrocketscience]

Thank you for this beautiful post. (sniff) He sounds as delightful as his Mum and somewhere out there is a very lucky future daughter in law and a small collection of very lucky grandchildren who will ADORE you. X

[cozietoesie]

Improved my morning, this has.

[Mintyy]

Lovely to read! No wonder you feel so proud. And also, how very kind of the Mum to send you a letter.

She has inspired me to write a long overdue thank you letter to someone today.

[CantWorkItOut22]

A lovely reminder that some (many, probably) children grow into wonderful adults. There is a lot of good in the world, and it is nice to be reminded of that sometimes.

[Mintyy]

Just adding another message so I can uncheck the Watch this thread box .

[ninetynineonehundred]

Thank you for sharing this op and thank you to your son for being part of a traumatised girls recovery.