Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

How to tell if someone is cheating?

(25 Posts)
Reese123 Sat 08-Aug-15 22:23:46

I just started a relationship, it's only been 6 weeks but I already think he's cheating on me. Signs he's cheating:

Every week around the same time he spends 2 nights away supposedly staying at a friends house
During one of the weeks I called him 3 times but he didn't answe
Takes his phone into the bathroom
Was sending text messages to someone late and had a dirty smile on his face

He was very attentive in the start, but that has dwindled greatly
Am I being neurotic? Let me have your thoughts please

ImperialBlether Sat 08-Aug-15 22:27:48

Ugh when you said he had a dirty smile on his face, I shuddered.

It's been six weeks. There's no obligation to carry on seeing someone like that. He sounds bloody horrible, tbh. Dump him and find someone who deserves you.

magoria Sat 08-Aug-15 22:28:06

It's been 6 weeks.

You don't trust him.

Go your separate way.

ladybird69 Sat 08-Aug-15 22:32:46

Get out now, those are great big Red Flags. Sounds like he's keeping his options open!

Reese123 Sat 08-Aug-15 22:40:13

Ok I also did something stupid this week, I live near him so knocked on his door late when he said he was home. He said he was too tired to open it and his car was no where to be seen.

I know this is very neurotic behaviour and i am seeing him tomorrow to end it.

I just want to make sure I'm doing the right thing.

gamerchick Sat 08-Aug-15 22:43:22

I'm really glad you're ending it.

6 weeks? Time to bail before you get sucked in to mega intense feelings. You shouldn't have to do the squinty eyes trying to suss out behaviour that makes you feel uncomfortable.

CalmYourselfTubbs Sat 08-Aug-15 23:26:52

yes, end it.

CalleighDoodle Sat 08-Aug-15 23:27:30

Why not just tell
Him Over the phone it isnt working for you? No need to drag itnout and see him in person. He is obviously a liar.

Reese123 Sat 08-Aug-15 23:31:33

Thank you for your advice

ImperialBlether Sat 08-Aug-15 23:32:37

I wouldn't tell him in person. It'll only get nasty. Either phone him or send a text. He likes his phone - let him use it!

winkywinkola Sun 09-Aug-15 06:04:09

Too tired to open the front door to you? Oh dear. He's not in the thrall of a new relationship, is he? Which means he will treat you like you're disposable.

category1 Sun 09-Aug-15 08:39:40

Good grief. Knock it on the head.

niceupthedance Sun 09-Aug-15 09:38:08

Sounds like he may already have a partner to me.

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight Sun 09-Aug-15 09:43:56

6 weeks? Just bin! I can't believe you'd even drag it out to bother seeing him face to face.

Reese123 Sun 09-Aug-15 10:32:48

This sounds silly but I want answers to get closure and so I can move forward. This guy went so over the top with dates and gestures that it's hard to believe he is cheating on me and doesn't have feelings for me.

startagainonmonday Sun 09-Aug-15 10:38:39

He went over the top early on when he didn't really know you yet so it was probably less to do with feelings for you, more about reeling you in.

Sorry you're hurting but he sounds like a bad'un.

AnotherTimeMaybe Sun 09-Aug-15 10:43:22

Unfortunately what usually happens is that they run after you like a dog till they get you and then they loose interest (especially when sex is involved).. This is how some of them are, that's why try to spot the dodgy ones from the beginning

You're surely not in love with him after this are you?

CalleighDoodle Sun 09-Aug-15 10:47:38

Reese he wont give you an explanation that youll find adequate. Just text him and move on.

Reese123 Sun 09-Aug-15 10:58:47

When I met him I thought he was different, I thought I had met a good one. How wrong could I be?

I just find it so incredibly hard to tell if guys are genuinely nice decent people or are dodgy characters that will end up breaking your heart.

CalleighDoodle Sun 09-Aug-15 11:02:02

No you dont. You cane on here because you could tell the behaviour was out of order.

You problem is that you are going to accept this crappy behaviour from someone you hardly know.

13months Sun 09-Aug-15 11:04:47

Please dont expose yourself to any more humiliation and hurt by wanting to talk to him and get closure. THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN. Take back control - dump him with one text - no explanation and then emotionally cut off and move on. Good luck you can do this.

Reese123 Sun 09-Aug-15 12:19:35

I ended it, just constant excuses for everything. No answers to anything, just putting stuff back on to me.

I just feel sad now, I thought he was a really nice guy. We're in our 30's - I just didn't expect this type of behaviour from someone this age.

Can anyone tell me how to spot a decent human being for the future?

sleepsoftly Sun 09-Aug-15 17:34:16

Experience, only experience. Then those conclusions are pretty instant.

pocketsaviour Sun 09-Aug-15 17:35:43

After 6 weeks I wouldn't expect a fledgling relationship to be exclusive...

fairbalance Sun 09-Aug-15 23:11:44

Hmmm. Sounds like an ex of mine. If his initials are AM! I can tell some stories. My ex dated 3 other women plus me! Until we all found about each other! The only thing AM was interested was his phone and his next ego boast on Facebook. Where he acted the ig I am and I know everything. He was very senior in the NHS. Scary sad He did the grand gestures etc early on. DUMP FAST.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now