He tells me now !!!

[Pominoz1]

I turned 50 last week so husband and I treated ourselves to a week-end away. Arrived at hotel, drinks in the bar, eating dinner and chatting generally when I mentioned the name of a woman I had been friends with some years previously. Our girls were friends at school and we were friends until we moved away a couple of years later.

My husband sat there and told me that this woman had tried to kiss him ... Just like that completely out of the blue ! I was so stunned. The look on his face when he told me was, I don't know, sort of proud and I can't get that out of my head.

We have been married a long time (28 years) so have had the conversation 'has anyone ever come on to you' etc and he always said no, laughing that he would be too dense to even notice and up until now I would have agreed.

So why didn't he tell me when I asked ? He said it was just because I mentioned her name and he remembered. He said he didn't tell me at the time because we were moving away and guessed we would not keep in contact. We did though, her children came to stay with us after we moved, we sent Christmas cards for a while. I even invited her to our eldest daughters 18th birthday party, she accepted but then didn't turn up and I never heard from her again.

He says he didn't kiss her, that he turned away. They were not drunk. It was after a surprise going away party that we threw for our daughters and she helped organise. I was cleaning up in the kitchen and, apparently, walked in on them just after it happened.

Posting on here as we have moved again and left my girlfriends behind on the other side if the world. All our friends here are mutual friends.

[pocketsaviour]

I would imagine he didn't tell you at the time as she was your friend and he didn't want to spoil your friendship over what he probably put down to a moment of madness on her part.

Bit tactless to suddenly bring it up on your birthday weekend though!

[Jan45]

Agree with pocket, don't fret about it, she wanted what you have and didn't get it!

[Pominoz1]

Tactless I agree and it's not like it's the first time either but I know if I force this issue with him then it will turn ugly and into an argument. When he knows he's in the wrong rather than just apologise he turns defensive and critical of me. He's not a bad man, just flawed as we all are, but aside from his tactlessness what other 'incidents' has he not told me about that may pop up in the future that he conveniently 'forgot' ?

[Jan45]

Do you really think he's had multiple passes made at him, is he a George Clooney lookalike by any chance?

[Gruntfuttock]

How the hell is he "in the wrong"?

[Pominoz1]

George Clooney lookalike ??

Well that made me smile because actually he's been told he looks like Keenau Reeves/Richard Gere and yes he has had multiple passes made which we have laughed about together. One woman actually had the nerve to come onto him whilst I was sat next to him at dinner !! I suppose my issue is that none of these women were a friend.

[Jan45]

Lucky you then haha.

Get a pic up OP!

[Findtheoldme]

Given that no one is perfect we are all flawed but that doesn't give him the right to be critical about you. Or turn ugly. Are you grateful to be with someone seen as attractive?

[Gruntfuttock]

That makes no sense because Keanu Reeves is beautiful and Richard Gere has always been hideous. They bear no resemblance to each other whatsoever, so how can someone look like both of them?

[Pominoz1]

I am not tech savvy enough to know how to,post a picture :)

Interesting question from Findtheoldme and the answer was probably yes when I was a lot younger.

whenever he is backed into a corner about whatever he has done to p* me off then his defence tactic is to criticise me and my behaviour! to deflect back onto me rather than take a long look at his behaviour. I understand where this comes from (his need to protect himself from criticism comes from having to protect himself from his fathers fists) and I don't back down from an argument with him but it's so exhausting to go through all that to get him to see it from my point of view !!

[Cocalite]

I wouldn't worry; he was, as other posters have said, just thought it was a moment of madness from her.

[Gruntfuttock]

You're acting as though he's been caught cheating. It's ridiculous. He's not done anything wrong! Forget it.

[category1]

Eh, the incident in question sounds trivial. If it's part of something bigger then fair enough, but if this is all it is - someone made a pass, he brushed it off, then blah, really. Not worth getting worked up about. If there's a big pattern of the like, then maybe.

[Pominoz1]

It's good to sound off so ..... end of rant and thanks for listening :)