With my mum. So many reasons but today I've reached my limit after discovering that she has also failed to protect my siblings from s/abuse for her pathetic need for 'love' and money. I can no longer carry on pretending and I need to build a safe wall around myself and my family now.
But she lives v close and is still heavily involved with my siblings so this will be tricky. I do not wish to fall out.. involve the rest of the family etc, I simply wish to let her know that we will no longer be part of one another's lives and I want her to respect this and leave me alone. Quietly.
I've typed it up (I cannot face another face to face conversation in which she rewrites history and then asks me to forgive) as I want it over with, like a plaster. I only hope she has the dignity to exit my life as requested quietly.
But I'm hovering over this send button worrying about the consequences. I know it's the right thing to do. But I'm .. not scared. Exhausted and apprehensive of what may lie ahead.
A hand to hold.. some words. Something. . I dunno. Thanks.
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I'm about to go N/C
moooolah · 30/07/2015 18:47
you can do it - really you CAN 
have you told your siblings yet? i told mine the bare minimum so they wouldn't get dragged into it - just that i was no longer in contact with older sis due to her persistent bad behaviour and that i would appreciate it if they didn't share any info about me to her.
it's been 4 years almost and my life has been so much better for it. i can breathe comfortably now, i can live my life without that niggling knowledghe in the background that she will attempt to piss all over me the second she finds out anything abut me.
plus the space has helped me to emotionally detach from her and other family members who take her side. i can now 'flick' off any bad attitude without crumpling into a nervous, panicked wreck.
your whole life awaits you op- make sure you enjoy it to the fullest! 
yaaaaaaay! well done!
trust your gut instincts - they usually know the truth of what's going on around you before your other senses catch up. i think blocking her number/email address etc is the best thing to do, that way if she does choose to cross that boundary at any point in the future she will be met with silence - and you will not be affected by the intrusion.
Well if it helps, I told my kids that we are an awesome team and that only people who are awesome are allowed to be on our team and that she had proven herself to be someone completely not awesome.
I sounded upbeat, fun and strong. Inside my heart was breaking that this was the family I was giving my children. It's sad and it's hard, but I've never regretted it.
It will be fine 
Hi op ive been NC with my mother for 15 years. It honestly was the best thing I've ever done. There have been times when ive nearly buckled and felt sorry for her as she is so toxic she has isolated herself and hardly any one in our family speak to her. When I feel like this I talk to my DB who reminds me of who and what she is. She damaged us both badly. But we are only human and sometimes still feel guilt and other emotions as our parents are supposed to love, protect and nurture us. I'd write down you thoughts and feelings now so you can look back if you have a wobble. Dd1 doesnt care we're not in contact
Also ive just gone NC with my MIL after five years of taking her shit. She isn't on the same level as my mother but still toxic and I'm not having people like that in my life. However this is proving a little more difficult as she lives around the corner and parks out side the house and posts things through the letter box and I have her family members trying to get me to 'let it go' - even though it's her that's agressive and manipulative. That's when it gets hard. you might find yourself having to avoid people who do her dirty work for her. With you living so close (I literatly live with in eye shot of mils house) there will be times when you see each other. If I'm having a wobble after being swamped with 'well meaning' family members I just check her open facebook page and see her bitterness and spit fullness splashed all over it.
We're planning on moving!
Good luck
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