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Who is the biggest support in your life?

(12 Posts)
furrylittlecreatures Fri 24-Jul-15 14:12:52

Was just wondering who is your emotional support? I have been going through a tough time lately, alot of problems arriving at the same time and I have struggled to find support. Who do you turn to? Any suggestions about how I can improve my support network. I have to say I spend hours (gladly) listening to friends when they have problems but people just don't seem interested when I need a bit of TLC. Where am I going wrong?

lavenderhoney Fri 24-Jul-15 14:24:32

What do you mean, don't seem interested? Have you actually said " I need someone to talk to?" And invited them over? If you have and they find excuses, they aren't your friends. You need new ones which is tricky when you're down.

When I left my dh ( and before) I had a couple of expat mums and mn. I also had a friend I had known for 14 years whom I had almost lost contact with, and quite bizarrely they stepped up and were awesome. Two years later, still awesome. Also, mnsmile

It can be helpful to talk through your issues on here, tbh. Would you like too? It's ok to have a big old rant and moansmile

firesidechat Fri 24-Jul-15 14:31:12

My husband. He has to listen to me and visa versa. It's in the marriage vows isn't it? smile

Seriously though, I don'y know who it would be if it wasn't him. I love my parents, but it wouldn't be them. I can think of one friend, but I wouldn't want to burden her too much.

DrDre Fri 24-Jul-15 14:32:30

My wife, followed by my sister.
I wouldn't go to my parents with any issues, my Dad is so highly strung I would just end up getting more stressed.
My close friends are all scattered to the winds geographically and it can be quite difficult to arrange times to speak to them.

willowwaters Fri 24-Jul-15 14:33:31

This is something I'm finding hard just now. I don't have anyone.

My friends are lovely but we tend to be silly and enjoy ourselves together rather than have in depth conversations about stuff.

furrylittlecreatures Fri 24-Jul-15 14:38:43

I do find posting things on here very helpful and that includes this as it doesn't seem to be just me. I think maybe deep down I am not very good at sharing as I don't want to burden them as fireside mentioned but maybe you are right, maybe they aren't real friends at all. Thats a depressing thought.

rouxlebandit Fri 24-Jul-15 14:40:35

My wife definitely. But, OP, we need to know more about your current problems to be able to advise on the appropriate person or place to go for support. Very often your GP can be the first one to speak to.

rouxlebandit Fri 24-Jul-15 14:49:32

What about Samaritans? They are not only there for people who are suicidal but simply to listen. Talking to someone who will not judge you or try to suggest solutions can sometimes help to clarify things in your own mind.

furrylittlecreatures Fri 24-Jul-15 14:51:53

Mainly I was interested in finding out who other people gain support from rather than directing me. I do go to my GP/Consultants/Home OT, Home physio ..... the list is endless really but it was more people in our lives rather than people who are paid to offer limited support. My problems in brief; unexpected death of younger brother and the last time we spoke we had an argument, losing my career (which I loved) due to serious life threatening illness and my dd becoming ill. As I said a few things all at once and now I feel very, very down as keeping busy which I always relied on during tough times has been removed as an option as I am very limited with my mobility etc now and I guess the black cloud that is lingering of my own mortality with a young family.

lavenderhoney Fri 24-Jul-15 15:17:30

I saw my gp when I finally made it back to the UK and realised I was completely alone - parents recently died, no family, no old friends as had been an expat. I had a couple of mn people who had been on my thread I met in El, who are still awesomesmile He arranged a counsellor.

It was great. I talked, she listened. I was ok, but had no one in the UK. My friend in the U.S. - always email and im.

lavenderhoney Fri 24-Jul-15 15:22:47

Have you googled your condition and found a site for people in the same situation? Mn has long tentacles, have you rummaged through the site to see? There are quite helpful topics and threads.

I found the school helpful too, as I was mindful of the DC. My DC also had outside help, and that gave me emotional space, and now I am here for them. With the option if they ask of seeing someone, they say not atm, but I am open to change.

MatildaTheCat Fri 24-Jul-15 17:48:47

OP, for specific support re a medical condition I actually started a support thread here on mn. It has been a huge support to me and hopefully others over the past couple of years. Following that another private group was established allowing less anonymous contact. So perhaps that is a possibility?

As above there may well already be groups online to make contact with others with your medical condition and almost certainly those suffering bereavement and the inevitable guilt that brings.

Sorry you have had such a horrendous time and do hope you find what you are looking for. Sometimes the Internet can be a fantastic way of meeting those who are in a similar situation.

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