Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

1 2 3 4

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

I think husband has a secret phone

79 replies

Louisa111 · 18/07/2015 16:18

I've just found a blackberry phone charger upstairs near dh computer, we both gave iPhones. It's obviously been used recently as never come across it before.
Now what would you do?? Confront or stay quiet??

I suspected last year he was having an affair with a work colleague , too many things didn't add up, I know they used to speak on the he phone ALOT and wasn't happy about it. At the time I used to just question, question, question which I know was wrong cause if he was he just got better at hiding it.

And now I've found this?? He got given a blackberry last year as a work phone, didn't want to use it and it just got put away in a drawer and tbh I forgot about it until now when I've found this charger!!

Now what would you do?? Confront, hide the charger or just say nothing in the hope I someday find this phone?? He's at work I found it when I was hoovering

OP posts:

Report

BolshierAyraStark · 18/07/2015 16:21

Say nothing & look for the phone?
I couldn't keep quiet though, would probably just say I'd seen it & await his reaction.

AuntyMag10 · 18/07/2015 16:23

Has he been using his work phone recently for work purposes? Maybe they have asked that he starts using it?

Floundering · 18/07/2015 16:26

Hide the charger & watch his reaction.

If he genuinely needs it for work he'll be looking openly for it, but if it's for nookie purposes he'll go quietly mad.

TRexingInAsda · 18/07/2015 16:28

He's been cheating for a year then? - I'd stop fannying about playing with phone chargers and just LTB tbh.

tribpot · 18/07/2015 16:29

I would hide the charger too and see what his reaction is. If he put the Blackberry away in a drawer, is it still in there?

Louisa111 · 18/07/2015 16:30

It's not that simple as just leave! We have a daughter! I rather catch him
Out than just leave.
I'm sure it's not work purposes he uses his phone.
If I hide charger he could know I'm
On to him or shall I just put it back and make it my mission to find phone

OP posts:

Louisa111 · 18/07/2015 16:31

Blackberry isn't in drawer I guessed it wouldn't be

OP posts:

tribpot · 18/07/2015 16:34

Why would he know you're on to him? This is what happens.

He comes home. Needs to charge the work phone that he has been asked to use as per AuntyMag's suggestion. Can't find charger where he left it. Says 'have you seen the charger?' you say 'Oh, I wasn't sure what it was for so I put it away in [x place]' and give it to him. Mystery solve.

Or

He comes home. Needs to charge the phone he is using to contact his mistress. He could try and brazen it out and say 'where's my charger' at which point you can still play innocent and say you just put it away but that you didn't realise he was using his work Blackberry and can you have the number to put in your phone. But more likely he will quietly go mad wondering where it is but without being able to say so.

Your challenge is to find a hiding place which is both plausible and where he won't look.

Floundering · 18/07/2015 16:47

It is perfectly possible to LTB with children, but in this case I would want to know then pack his bags & tell him to go his mistress.

Melonfool · 18/07/2015 16:54

Are you sure it isn't a generic type he could be using to charge something else? A BlackBerry brand that came with the phone but he now uses it to charge or upload to the Kindle or something? Don't Blackberrys just use micro USB these days? We have loads of things in the house that use micro USB chargers.

Louisa111 · 18/07/2015 17:22

I've just found the blackberry phone deep in drawer, not being used. Feel
Abit silly now but also relieved. I'd love to know what he was using charger for but I guess I'm
Wrong on this occasion

OP posts:

ImperialBlether · 18/07/2015 17:41

Is it a Kindle charger? I can't remember what the Blackberry charger looks like.

Hate to say it but just because the Blackberry's in the drawer, it doesn't mean it's not being used. Have you switched it on?

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 18/07/2015 17:45

He might have been using the charger. I have a blackberry and they work with a lot of other things.

But I'd check the phone, just in case.

chdmum20 · 18/07/2015 17:48

blackberry works with samsung devices and many others

ThereIsIron · 18/07/2015 17:51

A BlackBerry charger is essentially a micro usb charger which will charge pretty much any device on the market today (except Apple stuff).

Louisa111 · 18/07/2015 17:58

Do you think I have cause to worry??

OP posts:

WhySoAngry · 18/07/2015 18:09

found the blackberry phone deep in drawer

Certainly check the phone when you get the chance. If it's not been used for some time it most likely won't start up. It will need charging first.

If it does start up, and has lots of charge, you may have cause to worry.

Lacoba66 · 18/07/2015 18:09

Put it this way OP- if the charger was out, then what was he using it to charge? Obviously not his iPhone.

Have you switched the Blackberry on? Is it charged up? He's not using it for work obviously. Are there any other devices that he could have used it to charge?

If there isn't, then I would still wonder if he has another phone...

Tryharder · 18/07/2015 18:31

You came to the conclusion that your DH has a 'secret phone' on the basis of a random charger lying around.

Then you said that actually your DH had been given a blackberry as a work phone. So not a secret phone then!

I have no idea if your suspicions regarding the girl at work are based on anything concrete or not.

But I worry that people are advising LTB - and causing untold financial and emotional fallout - on the basis of a phone charger.

On what you have told us, I see no evidence of infidelity.

itaintmebabe · 18/07/2015 18:38

Bit why would the charger be out if he's not using it?

TheoriginalLEM · 18/07/2015 18:48

How can you be with someone who is cheating on you? :(

morethanpotatoprints · 18/07/2015 18:52

Did his work give him the Blackberry about the same time as you had suspicions of an affair?

I would turn it on and see if it is charged, then you'll know.
Only you know if you have cause for concern, has anything different happened over this time? Has his behaviour changed at all?

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Email address

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

dementedma · 18/07/2015 18:55

Agree with tryharder. So many of these "he's cheating on you, LTB" threads with no evidence whatsoever.

nozzz · 18/07/2015 18:56

As others have said, a blackberry charger can be used to charged many other devices.

Why don't you just ask your husband what it was for?

Epilepsyhelp · 18/07/2015 18:58

Wow definitely no evidence of cheating here! A lot of things charge with micro usb.

If you are worried just unplug 'put it away' somewhere he won't find it, if it's innocent he'll just ask you for it.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.