Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

3 days of arguining - he's going on at me CONSTANTLY

(21 Posts)
GreenSheet Wed 15-Jul-15 18:26:59

He's always been a Mardy arse, stubborn, argumentative, ultra sensitive etc etc but these past few days it's gone beyond ridiculous and it's making me paranoid.
It all started 3 days ago when he went mental all of a sudden saying that me and my ex have been "scamming" him out of money confused this ex btw I split with 12 years ago and we now have minimal contact. I asked how the hell he'd come up with that and basically he reckons my ex is earning more than he mskes out so should be paying more maintanance and because I've "let him get away with it" I'm also scamming him. He went on to explain that as the ex isn't paying enough (allegedly) HE has been left paying for "someone else's kids". That is fucking awful for a start but he continued ripping into me about it. The next day is literally just walked through the door from work and he called me over to a) look at his maintanance calculations for my ex and b) to tell me that my calculations were s load of shit and as a result he'd been paying his ex less than he should be. He implied I'd done this on purpose. I recalculated it in front of him ... Turned out HE had got it wrong, my calculations were right. He carried on slagging me off, saying he was a mug etc etc and basically telling me how he resents paying for my kids when their own father doesn't (he does btw). This all blew up out of nowhere.
Now, today I walk through the door and he seems in a better mood. Until of course, he points out that last night he'd watched me pick some clothes up from the floor before going to bed confused he said he was chuffed to see me do that as normally it would be left for him (untrue) ... Ok ... So this is a good thing, right? Well no because somehow he managed to turn THIS 'good thing' into a lecture about how I don't do enough housework. I said "so you're wanting to lecture me on something I DID do right yesterday??". He carried on saying "if I'm too high maintanance for you, just say".
Does he WANT me to split up with him?? That's how it's starting to feel. He's just constantly kicking off and ripping into me about stuff. He's incapable of holding a normal conversation - everything has to be lectures/aggressive/swearing etc etc

LadyOrangutan Wed 15-Jul-15 18:29:43

He wants to break up with you and doesn't have the guts to either admit that to himself or if he does, to do it.

Either way, do yourself a favour and kick the dickhead to the kerb. He's a nasty person that you're better off without.

butterflygirl15 Wed 15-Jul-15 18:30:22

who cares what he wants - why are you staying with him and putting up with his bullying? Don't you deserve better than that?

Loobyloo15 Wed 15-Jul-15 18:35:28

Urgh sounds like my oh. Idiot

molyholy Wed 15-Jul-15 18:51:22

Yep, he wants out, but wants to play the victim to the outside world. Who needs this shit! Make it easy for him. Kick him out and don't be backward in coming forward when telling people why flowers

DoreenLethal Wed 15-Jul-15 19:30:03

He carried on saying "if I'm too high maintanance for you, just say".

'You aren't too high maintenance. What you are is an utter twat so why don't you just fuck off?'

Jux Wed 15-Jul-15 19:44:26

Oh kick the blighter out. He sounds totally unreasonable, a pain in the arse. Does he take responsibility for anything, or does he always blame other people?

InTheBox Wed 15-Jul-15 19:51:14

I agree he wants out but wants to feel aggrieved. Even if he was under duress in any other area of his life his behaviour is certainly unreasonable. Do the two of you have any DCs together?

Topseyt Wed 15-Jul-15 23:02:55

He sounds like a twat. He would get VERY short shrift from me.

Show him the door. Hell, I might even open it for him just to make sure he knew I was serious.

AnyFucker Wed 15-Jul-15 23:05:36

how can you be arsed with him ?

even more explicably, why are you subjecting your kids to this ? confused

Atenco Thu 16-Jul-15 05:34:11

Another one who can't see what you see in him

Hissy Thu 16-Jul-15 07:15:44

Open door

Point to it

try not to let it slam on his arse as he leaves.

He's actually abusing you now, the interrogations for days? Unacceptable.

Tell him to go.

Seriously, this is damaging you every second it continues.

That sick feeling in the pit of your stomach that you get now when opening the front door? FEAR. In a very short time you'll find it hard to shake that feeling.

It doesn't matter what he's trying to do, he needs to go.

dollius Thu 16-Jul-15 07:18:10

Do your kids hear what he says about them??

FenellaFellorick Thu 16-Jul-15 07:18:20

I think he wants out and he's being a bastard about it.

FenellaFellorick Thu 16-Jul-15 07:19:34

why do you want to stay with someone who has shown you this is how he feels about you and your children anyway? Give him what he wants. Your kids will thank you for it and you'll be happier too.
Nobody has the right to treat you how he is treating you.

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore Thu 16-Jul-15 07:22:54

He is telling you exactly who he is. Listen to it. Get rid. You and your kids deserve better. Imagine how your kids must feel hearing him say those things.

sooperdooper Thu 16-Jul-15 07:23:07

Ugh show him the door he sounds awful, you don't need to put up with this crap

Fromparistoberlin73 Thu 16-Jul-15 07:26:28

Op - I tend to agree that he wants out but lacks the courage to say so or do so

So his technique is to blame you for everything
Matter with what the other poster said about the 'fear' it's going to get worse and it will eat you up OP and diminish you
As ever it's ever so easy to say LTB and very complicated to do so !

But it's worth capping his bluff and asking him straight out - do ypu want to be in this relationship? As I can't stay like this and I can't have the kids subjected to this. If you want to split - say so

See what he says ? And come back flowers

fourtothedozen Thu 16-Jul-15 07:35:08

Get rid- life is too short, and this is not good for your kids.

Ketchuphidestheburntbits Thu 16-Jul-15 08:04:33

You don't have to put up with his verbal and emotional abuse. It isn't good for your DC or for you so tell him that his unhappiness is making all of you miserable and he needs to leave immediately.

Because he told you he is being scammed by you and your ex, tell him that he deserves to keep all of his money to himself and he'd benefit from spending it on some anger management before he gets into another relationship (unless he's already met someone else?)

Have you ever clicked on the "threads I've started" link? If you're the poster I think, please do.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now