Friends, who needs 'em...?

[minko]

Since we left London after DD was born (3 years ago!) I find it really hard to make real friends. I have various mummies I hang out with and DD plays with their children but I feel I don't really get on with them. Basically all we have in common is children.

I know I sound awful, am I expecting too much?! Also there seems to be so much rivalry and cliq-yness. It makes me feel so insecure, I haven't felt like this since I was at school!

[ponder]

Poor you! I Know what you mean about the clique thing, and bitchyness, just like school! i am in a quandry as really want to move to cornwall, but terrified of losing all friends up here in manchester, and not making any new ones who i really connect with down there.

i dont think it's too much to expect, but you have to work allot harder to meet the right kind of people when your older. have you tried doing something nonbaby related to meet people? like a sport or book club or something..?

[dancinggirl]

Hi there minko, I too know exactly what you mean! Have you read "The Playground Mafia" by Sarah Tucker? I know it's fictional but it is hilarious in spite of being so true to life. I've been through phases where I thought everyone was in a clique and I really felt an outsider, then when you actually chat to some Mums it's surprising how many feel exactly the same as you do! I also found that the more Mums you chat to (and it's I know it's not always easy, I used to be chronically shy) the more chance there is of finding one or two that you have things in common with. Also (bit drastic and not to be recommended), when my marriage suddenly and unexpectedly broke up I was quite overwhelmed at how it brings out the best in people, and lots of Mums I'd previously only said hello to or made polite conversation with, rallied round and turned out to be incredibly supportive.