I have been seeing a guy I met online for a month. We've had day trips together and stayed over (not DTD yet though as I like to wait). We've had many, many conversations on the phone, hours at a time. All going well.
However, both of us have recently come out of long term relationships. We both lived with our exDPs. I had been broken up with my ex for 4 weeks before I met him, and he had been broken up with his ex for 2.5 weeks when we met. When me and exDP broke up, we left the accommodation within a few days (just lucky that the tenancy fitted that way). This guy hadn't seen his ex since they broke up and she had gone to stay with a friend, but last week he had to see her again when she came back to fully move out properly (their tenancy expired). This guy has now been living in a new flat with another guy.
NB: We both said from day one that we knew things werent right with our exDPs for a while, so that is why we felt able to move on relatively quickly. Both our break ups were amicable - neither of us hates our ex DPs.
The problem: on the day his ex fully moved out, he asked to call me. I said yes, and he started talking normally, then suddenly burst into tears. He said it had just 'hit him as a reality,' that it was over, and he just felt sad and he was sorry he was upset etc. I tried to comfort him as best I could. He quickly pulled himself together and we had a long phone call as we usually do. He kept apologising for being upset and said he 100% didnt want to be with her and he hadnt expected to feel sad like he did. He said he couldnt wait to see me again and said he really appreciated how caring I was when he was crying and that I had made him feel a lot better. We both agreed that it would have been simpler if we met a later...I suggested not speaking for a bit and he said he didnt want to do that because he would miss me.
I believe him that it is over with his ex - he has moved somewhere new, we speak all the time etc. And in a way I am glad he got upset as he had seemed quite cold about it up until then. I just feel confused about what to do now... I really like this guy and a couple of days before this phone call where he got upset, I was falling for him fast.
Am I on dangerous ground, or can I put this down to just moving on and life not being simple? I have felt sad about my ex too and cried now and again (havent told new guy this tho!!), and at the same time I KNOW I dont want to be with my ex again. What would you do/think/feel about this?
Sorry for length!!
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Is this a doomed start?!
4 replies
whattodo44 · 07/07/2015 17:00
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