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How do I hide posting history, pls? H been reading my account :(

(21 Posts)
DopeyDawg Mon 06-Jul-15 12:29:23

How do I hide my posting history / new namechanged posts pls?
My H has been reading my account.

We had a flood in our basement and I had posted for advice.

H had discovered flood and he did some baling work early that morning without waking me (I had passed out having been up with kids during night). Later however he went into depressed mode and started telling me how it was all my fault (too much stuff in basement) and refused to discuss Insurance etc which I felt we needed to do.
I had posted for advice and mentioned that he was watching TV/asleep.
I hadn't meant to be bitchy - just to say that he was 'unavailable' for input.

When anything goes wrong he tends to become very 'helpless' but also becomes very aggressive with me. He is not like this with his family but is to a certain extent with other people but does hold down a job. I suspect he was with his previous wife (who he told me had had 'mental health problems' - he also frequently tells me I am 'mad').

Later that day I had to travel a 60m round trip re a camp that my ds with asd hopes to go on. I left my house keys at home as I didn't need them whilst out (a friend drove me).

Just before bed I realised I couldn't find my keys and needed them to lock front door. I looked and looked. H is up first. The other day ds had locked my keys in my car (down a difficult access way and I have just had leg surgery) so recent history of keys going 'astray' not due to me.
I left a note for H saying: 'have you seen keys' as I had left them at home that lunch time and thought he might have seen them.

He left a note (which ds saw and read) saying:
'Perhaps if you spent less time slagging me off on the internet you wouldn't have lost your keys. When are YOU leaving this house?'
He has been asking me when I am going to leave in periodic temper outbursts for a long time now.

I have suspected before that he reads my posts. Now I know.
I will need to keep posting during the next while but I don't want him to have access to my private thoughts as I don't trust him at all.

ApologiseForAnotherDay Mon 06-Jul-15 12:39:24

Speak to MNHQ, you could report your post to contact them? flowers for you, sounds like a horrible time.

Janette123 Mon 06-Jul-15 12:42:29

DopeyDawg,
You said
"When anything goes wrong he tends to become very 'helpless' but also becomes very aggressive with me."
"he also frequently tells me I am 'mad' "
"He has been asking me when I am going to leave in periodic temper outbursts for a long time now."

Please have a think about what you are really getting out of this marriage with someone who is verbally abusive?

mrsdavidbowie Mon 06-Jul-15 12:44:12

Change your user name.
Ask MNHQ to delete your posts
They did for me in a similar situation.

I'm now divorced shock

Jackie0 Mon 06-Jul-15 12:46:14

When are you leaving this house?
What's that about?
Does he want to separate then ?

Change your passwords as well. MN password and email. Check your pc for a keylogger.

JinglyJanglyJungleBigGameTours Mon 06-Jul-15 13:01:47

Use incognito or private browsing mode on your browser or clear your cookies afterwards so it doesn't keep you logged in if he uses the same computer or devices as you.

No one should be treated the way he's treating you flowers Sounds like life would be much more peaceful and happier without him.

DopeyDawg Mon 06-Jul-15 13:46:20

Yes, he wants me gone.

I nearly went last year (due to wanting better educational support for ds).
H had hired a van and was rubbing hands with glee.
The rental fell through at last minute and he was very disappointed.

How do I check for a keylogger pls?

We just have one 'family' pc in dining room and one email address so I guess he can see everything. Feel so stupid.
I have NO tech ability so not sure how to set up separate address?

If I am going to need legal advice I'd rather he wasn't party to it immediately.

Also make sure you change your username and your password - then turn off the function on your browser that saves passwords.

If you don't change your username he can simply read what you put by searching the boards.

Creatureofthenight Mon 06-Jul-15 14:01:41

Are you near a library? Pop in and someone should be able to show you how to set up your own email account.

pocketsaviour Mon 06-Jul-15 14:11:03

Yes, or go on YouTube and search for "How to set up a new Gmail account".

Do you have a smartphone? You might be safest just using that for now.

JinglyJanglyJungleBigGameTours Mon 06-Jul-15 14:14:24

You'll need to install software on the PC that'll detect it, but anti virus software is a good thing to have installed anyway, try AVG antivirus it does a free version which is good.

Phoenix0x0 Mon 06-Jul-15 14:18:53

Do you own a smart phone?

If you do then, you could post/check emails etc without him knowing.

I agree, keep changing your user name/passwords.

AnotherEmma Mon 06-Jul-15 14:19:07

Hi OP, there's good advice on here:
www.womensaid.org.uk/page.asp?section=00010001000800010001

Good luck flowers

DopeyDawg Mon 06-Jul-15 14:24:17

Thanks so much.
I'll get onto this asap (kids off and won't take a breath!)

It's shabby behaviour though, isn't it? [confused}

DopeyDawg Mon 06-Jul-15 14:24:55

flips sake ... confused

DrMorbius Mon 06-Jul-15 14:38:21

I nearly went last year. H had hired a van and was rubbing hands with glee. The rental fell through at last minute and he was very disappointed

Why are you bothering hiding anything, you relationship seems broken. Do you really care that H reads your posts?

DopeyDawg Mon 06-Jul-15 14:45:38

I am not hiding anything but if I need legal advice / moral support I would prefer it remain private until / if I choose to share it. I wouldn't want it shared around my workplace / leave it open on a library, why would I want the person who wants me to move out of our family home to see it?

Especially if he leaves notes asking when I am leaving the marital home for the children to see sad

DrMorbius Mon 06-Jul-15 15:10:02

Legal stuff is obviously different. Clear your history, never allow passwords to be saved for any site. Change your password every couple of days. Make sure your passwords are really random. The method I use for this is to close my eyes, look up, open my eyes and select the first thing I see. Currently it is: - LooseCableOnWall. I defy anyone to break my passwords smile and strangely they are quite easy to remember if you forget them. Sit in the same place and look around smile

AnotherEmma Mon 06-Jul-15 15:34:27

OP, once you've sorted out your online privacy, some questions for you:

Is the house rented or owned? Is it in your, his or joint names?

Depending on the situation, it might be better for him to move out, not you. Especially if you are the main carer for your children, which I get the impression you are?

Anyway. You might not feel ready to split up yet (whether that means leaving or kicking him out). But it's something to bear in mind if and when you are ready.

VoyageOfDad Mon 06-Jul-15 16:25:56

OP are you not concerned that he's reading this thread ?

It's active in relationships and has more than enough info to identify you to your H .

If I was him I'd just browse the relationships topics.

If you want online privacy download the TOR browser and use that.

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