I will try to keep this short.
Back at the beginning of this year I found out, by reading my partners messages, that he had been sleeping with numerous women, continuing to then date them and also having an affair with a married women with two kids, he had not had sex with that lady but I read the love messages, the lies of weekends away and I was a broken women. They were utterly in love.
At the time I was on antidepressants because I had quite simply hit rock bottom, I had believed his lies but equally something in my mind told me they weren't true. I was lonely and believed I was at fault so went on the medication.
I stupidly chose to forgive my partner of all these infidelities: in doing so I also stopped my medication (forced by him: although I'm glad now). I have lost my life long friends who still say they love me but I don't have the guts to see them or the energy to answer there questions.
In stopping my medication I believe I've actually worked through the fog of the previous year of total lies and that I now regret my choice (although I would have been a mess if I'd left then). What do I do. I'm finding it very hard to walk Away or even discuss it. He is a very attractive man, can be very kind and caring man at time, he has "tried" quite hard to change and certainly has stopped all the relationships.
However I'm not happy and I'm wondering if I ever can be with him. He still tells me I need to lose weight for him to fancy me (I am now a larger 10 not a 6/8 as was petite). He has a temper that sinks me into depression every time) and mostly he has an obsession with women: be that porn, Facebook, through work etc.
I have no fun anymore with him, we share no hobbies and he emotionally controls what I do...
He is incredibly secretive over his emails and phone and Facebook: to rhe extent he hides when I'm near him.
We are in our 20.s, share a rented flat and have no children. Financially either can leave apart from the issue of living.
I basically am still quite weak and don't know how to walk... I will be faced with someone who is hurt as he loves me and very angry (he will hate that he gave up the other women for me and then I leave).
How have others had the motivation to leave. I have many friends who will support me. I've thought about councilling but I cancel every time.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Affair, forgiven: I made a mistake.
Strongbutlost · 05/07/2015 14:46
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